The past couple months have brought with it an element of uncertainty within our adoption. From statements issued by MOWA back in March that they would only be processing 5 cases a day (in essence cutting adoptions by 90%, which could extend our wait time up to 7 years!) to more recent news from our agency last week that MOWA has indicated that they are currently processing 10 cases per day, one thing still remains the same... uncertainty. Ugh- not a word I'm a huge fan of! What it comes down to is... I have no stinking idea how this is all going to pan out, and I'm not going to pretend to! All I know is that slowly but surely, referrals are still going out within our agency and families are still passing court. I could totally be wrong (because after all, what do I know?!), but it seems to me that things are happening at a quicker rate then 10 cases a day?! Don't get me wrong, we're not zooming right along by any means! In fact, I feel like we're creeping. BUT we have not come to a screeching halt either, which I find encouraging! Joshua and I have said from the get go that unless there is a definite stop in movement OR God is super clear in directing us elsewhere, we would stay put. Honestly, I don't know if that's silly parameters to put on the process, but they make sense to us because this journey has never been our agenda, but has been entirely God-led, so we trust wholeheartedly that He lead us to Ethiopia for a reason. We didn't get where we are on our own, that's for sure!
That being said- I need to be real for a moment and say there have been numerous times I have second guessed whether we're stupid for staying put! Self-doubt is my worst enemy! All the unknowns that surround the Ethiopia program have rightfully so, triggered several families to leave the program and pursue other avenues of adoption. In fact, several of these families are my closest friends in the adoption world that I have come to love and treasure their friendships. Hear me when I say, each one of these families has their own unique story of how the Holy Spirit has undoubtedly prompted them to go a different route. I want to be very clear in saying we, 100%, support their decision and trust that God is leading the way in each of their stories to their children! My point is, when I look around me and so many people are "jumping ship" and I'm staying put- I start to wonder if maybe I didn't get the memo from God to change course. Make sense?
Trust me when I say, I've had many nightly chats with God about the fact that I need Him to just shoot me straight and be blatantly clear stressing the fact that I'm not good at subtle signs. The hubs and I have prayed for God's direction during the past couple months more times then I can count and I want to assure you that we are whole heartedly pursuing His will for our family! At this point we simply feel like God is telling us, "Stay put". The other reoccurring answer when we pray for His direction is, "Wait on Uganda.". Hmmm... Now you're probably asking yourself, "Uganda?" As many of you might recall though, Joshua is heading to Uganda at the end of July on a mission trip with our church and while I'm confident that God is going to do big things in and through the team while they're there- I have no idea why, "Wait on Uganda" continues to be an answer to prayer when we're begging for direction. I'm not even sure the two answers correspond with one another?
Our hearts are burdened for getting Isa home all the while we're burdened for Africa and feeling the tug of the Holy Spirit to "go" at some point down the road. So, I can speculate all day long on the different things I think "Wait on Uganda" means- but that just leaves room for me to get in the way of Him. And so, I simply trust. For now, we stay put with the Ethiopia program unless it comes to a halt and we would reevaluate what to do at that point. And... We wait on Uganda- for whatever reason.
Below are some solid truths I've found myself returning to and rereading from a study I did last year called, Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer. Seriously... excellent study that I would highly recommend! I'm praying for clarity to distinguish the difference between my voice and God's voice... I liked what these key point had to say. I hope they speak to you too!
"He sees the end from the beginning and seeks to guide us through this life."
"We can be free from the burden of trying to make things happen when we know He promises to fulfill His own Word."
The Holy Spirit leads me PERSONALLY and INDIVIDUALLY.
"Scripture commands specific obedience of all believers on some matters. Some areas, however change based on the individual and what the Lord wants to accomplish in her life. In these instances the Holy Spirit will "call us by name," giving us detailed directions tailored to our lives."