After my last post about feeling inadequate and in over my head, I feel like God has provided some much needed reassurance that this state of uneasiness is exactly where He wants me and actually good to be in this place. I'm learning that God is a fan of dependency. I'd love to say that I'm super confident of all that I feel like the Lord is asking of me- but nope, not so! I will however say that I am learning to rest in His peace and rely on His abilities and even though the inadequate "Me" is still there trying to squeeze her way in my thoughts to freak me out... I'm learning to rest in the underlying truth that I know HE is able. There is an old school Willow Creek song that I remember when I was a little girl that I unknowingly find myself singing to Jude when I put him to bed at night (because he might be the only person in the world that hasn't figured out I can't sing yet!) The song goes like this:
He is able, more then able, to accomplish what concerns me today.
He is able, more then able, to handle anything that comes my way.
He is able, more then able, to do much more then I could ever dream.
He is able, more then able, to make me what He wants me to be.
Written by: Rory Noland
Isn't it funny how God uses the sweet unexpected moments of being with our children to speak straight to OUR hearts? I gotta wonder if He does that because sometimes throughout my day I'm in the "Go, Go, Go!" mode that when I put Jude down for the night, it's often the first time that I've slowed down enough to really be quite and listen. I'm grateful for the reminders He gives me in being a mom!
So beautiful...your words, your heart, and the pictures! Love ya, girl!
ReplyDeleteHil, I hear ya! I was just thinking much of the same thing literally as you were typing probably. Almost every night our routine is I play with Jalen until bath time, then Jason takes over while I do adoption stuff, bills, It's A Child's Life stuff and when time, the blog and I go to bed every night feeling overwhelmed and overworked, tonight though Jason had some stuff to do so I did bath and post bath play and then laid on the couch reading books, singing, and talking to Jalen....not another thought went through my head except how much I love him and that is how I will go to bed so peacefully tonight and I definitely feel most adequate in everything when I am around him. See you ina few days...love ya!
ReplyDeleteLove those pictures.
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ReplyDeleteI removed my post bc there were like 5 things misspelled! Can you tell it has been a bit crazy? Here it is corrected, haha:
ReplyDeleteI was listening to Francis Chan the other day and at the end of Forgotten God he talks about how the Holy Spirit is most present in our lives when we are doing things that take total dependence on Him. Sounds like you are learning the same thing. So good!