Sunday, June 13, 2010

Reminding God

I have no idea what God's timeline for this adoption looks like. I'm daily trusting that He'll unfold each step along the way in His perfect timing. I know that He already knows our child by name and how we'll be united by a series of timely events that He's in control of, not me. I've said from the beginning that we have no agenda here besides to be obedient to the burden He's placed on our hearts.

While that still remains true, apparently I do have this hidden "hope" (let's call it that, because it sounds better then "agenda") that keeps creeping up on me. I have found myself on numerous occasions reminding God how Joshua and I would love to get this ball rolling and turn in our application this summer with the hope that possibly next summer we'd be traveling to Ethiopia to pick up our babe. I have these daily persuasive conversations with God letting Him in on my plans that I think would pan out perfectly for numerous reasons that apparently I assume He's unaware of. The fact is, Joshua and I would love to start this process sooner then later. Our hopes and desires, in and of themselves, I think are good and important. But here's the deal... I want to be okay with God's agenda EVEN if it doesn't match up with my desires. Even typing that makes me somewhat cringe and want to whine, "But! But!...". It's true though. I know how God has worked in my life in the past, that He ALWAYS has a better plan, agenda, timeline, and story then I do!

So today, I lay my plan, agenda, timeline, and story down for God to handle. And I'll probably have to do the same tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. It's crazy how completely relying on God is so rewarding yet so hard at times! He's been so faithful already to provide in amazing ways, I should have no doubt that He's got the timing thing figured out too!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I love you, Hilary! You make me laugh! I appreciate your openness, and admire you (& Joshua) so very much!


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