At the end of last week we received our monthly email from our agency with our official October wait list number... #21! Down TWO spots from last month- yeah, I know you're probably thinking... that's not crazy fun movement! My fingers were crossed that this month's number might have been in the teens, but no such luck! The unpredictability of it all is sometimes a kick in the gut! I hate to even sound remotely like a "Debbie Downer" about it though, because here's the deal, I've been convicted over this before... while moving only 2 spots might seem a little "blah"... try saying that to the TWO PRECIOUS LIVES that were forever changed and given a family! TWO vulnerable and orphaned children that had no hope, now have a loving mommy and daddy! TWO families that have been desperately waiting for the referral of the newest addition to their family finally received that much anticipated, infamous phone call from our agency that will forever be ingrained in their minds! TWO families saw their child's face for the very first time this month and now it's become oh so real WHO they are fighting to bring home! No doubt, God is smiling with tears of joy in His eyes over this TWO spot move! And so I chose to celebrate this victory as well! Isa's day is coming, all in God's perfect timing! And oh how I will do the happy dance when that ONE spot move is to our sweet boy Isa!
In the meantime, I'm doing my best to soak in the joys of being a mama to our tender-hearted Jude. I don't want to be so caught up in the wait for Isa, that I miss the here and now with Jude. I'm daily reminded that this window of opportunity to pour into his life is so small in the grand scheme of things. This truth leaves me on my knees, daily, begging for God's guidance and wisdom in how to intentionally parent our little man. And I'll tell you one thing, keeping an eternal perspective in parenting requires some serious intentionality! It is so easy for me to get caught up in the grind and routine of every day life so much so that it absorbs every last drop of guidance I have to offer Jude. I pray for wisdom, boldness, time, creativity, and compassion in intentionally finding moments to teach Jude about the eternal, bigger purpose of his life! This past year (after going to the C4C retreat and having a conversation on the road trip home with Mitzi and Courtney) my eyes were opened up to the importance in praying the fullness of the Holy Spirit into his life. I desire for Jude to truly know how God sees him. How God loves him. How God created him and uniquely wired him for a purpose, a bigger purpose, a God purpose. How God already views him as purified and made right (or as Jude likes to say, "A good guy"). How God has rescued him and how, as His children, our lives are to reflect that.
While teaching Jude these truths is my hearts desire as his mom- the reality of it is, I am still trying to teach myself these truths! Seriously... this is deep stuff to wrap my mind around, I have so much to learn! I've only skimmed the surface of knowing and believing the goodness and power of the Holy Spirit. All I know is, the more I learn, the more I'm amazed! The more I trust, the more of my life I want to give to His purposes. Just this morning I was once again taken back at how God uses the Holy Spirit to bless our lives! I dropped Jude off at school and was driving home, it's about a 20 minute ride, perfect for some quality prayer time. I specifically prayed that God would continue to give me confidence and reassurance in His timing over our adoption process. I prayed that I would stay rooted in the truth that God is in control. I prayed that He would provide comfort and peace in knowing His ways are far better than mine. I'm just here to tell ya folks... the Holy Spirit is faithful to nudge His people to act on His behalf! I came home and opened my email and the first thing I found was a comment left this very morning on my previous blog post....
"Because you know many adoptive families I am sure you have heard this BUT...the wait is so orchestrated by the Lord. I waited for 15 years for mr. man to say "yes", then 2 1/2 to finally hold my boy in my arms. When you do get that referral and meet your son you will be AMAZED and so unbelievably grateful for the wait. The month and year we signed up with our agency was the month/year that Hudson was born. We asked to review the file of another little boy while we were waiting but we were "2nd" in line for him and his family was right before us. Even signing up for Special Needs when we did was God ordained (we started out on the "healthy girl list")......I had another adoptive mom tell me when we began the process "just know, the Lord will slow things down and speed things up just when He needs to, He's got it"....it is SO VERY HARD in the wait, I will not pretend that I do not remember the ache in my heart for my child who I didn't even know if they were a boy or girl BUT....like labor, it all is ok when they are placed in your arms. At one point while we were waiting on China for their final approval and we were about 2 weeks past due I cried to Mark that certianly the Lord knows it would be better for Hudson to be with us NOW..not LATER...being an adoptive child himself (at almost 9) and living among foster homes and an orphanage this smart man said "if the Lord is asking us to wait it is for good..Hudson may need more time to bond with his nanny so he can bond with us better, his nanny may need more time to say goodbye, our bio kids may need more time, the favor of officials"...for whatever reason the wait, it is for HIS glory!...... bottom line, the wait will not be waisted and I admire your strength in it!!"
How awesome is that?! I love that my God hears my prayers and is faithful to creatively use the hands and feet of others to answer them! Thank you Sharon for being obedient to the Holy Spirit's nudge to write this, this very morning to me! Thank you God for using Sharon to answer my prayer! Again, the more I see the Holy Spirit at work, the more I'm amazed!
I'm excited to share with Jude this afternoon the way God uses others to bless our life!