Revealing

My blogging life stinks right now! I hear this nagging little voice in my head whispering, "Sheesh Hil (this whispering voice also substitutes my name with "slacker"), sure has been a while since you last posted anything! Don't you think it's about time for a deep heart-felt post?! After all, as everyone knows, your blogging consistency and substance measure where you're at spiritually!!!" Ha! Thank goodness that's not true! Regardless this nagging whisper leaves me with a defeated sigh and shrug of the shoulders because while I'd love to spend each week knocking out a post on all the thoughts God is stirring in my heart and the ways at which I see Him at work right now, the truth is, life is busy! Rest assured, God is good, and He's at work... even when the posts are far and few between! 

I've been busy preparing and planning for the sections I'll be teaching the Ugandan women at the conference we're hosting with Hessed International the second week we're in Uganda. So it turns out, no surprise here, "teaching" is NOT one of my spiritual gifts. This has forced required me to really immerse myself (more than the average person probably) into the material and scripture I'll be teaching in order to be prepared. Initially this desperate hope to soak in every ounce of knowledge related to "Marriage Building Strategies"(the topic I'm covering) was rooted in the mere fact that I didn't want to look like a complete buffoon in front of this group of women. Fear. It's gripping. But in classic God fashion, He has used my frenzied, fear driven, study habits, to gently reveal more of who He is to me. 

For instance.... He has used this time to remind me that I will NEVER stop learning! It is a foolish thing for me to assume that I know all I need to know on a certain topic... marriage building strategies for instance! As I read (and re-read) and digest all the material I'm covering I continually find myself awakened to new perspectives and to different attributes of Christ that I had yet to discover! So while my initial motive in digging deep into this material was so that I looked all prepared and rock-star teacher-like, God has used this time to nudge me and gently say, "I still have things to teach YOU too Hilary!". So when it comes to communication, conflict, prayer, and romance in the context of marriage... just know, I'm no pro! (o; 

God has also used this time of preparation to expose more of how He has uniquely created me.  It all started with me realizing that I repeatedly kept turning to Joshua in the middle of studying and would rattle off a list of insecure questions..."You're teacher, how the heck do I do this?! How would you present this? Would you use an outline? Should I just do it lecture style like you do? If only they had powerpoint in Africa, you could totally help me make an awesome powerpoint presentation to get this idea across, right?! Huh, huh, huh?!?!". Annoying right?! Thankfully I have a patient husband! Here's the deal, it doesn't flippin' matter how Joshua, my amazing teacher husband, would do it!!! What matters is how God wants ME to do it! So that has left me on my knees, begging for God to reveal how He can best use ME to convey what HE knows these women need to hear. He knows the way I'm wired and He knows the best way I communicate with people- heck He created me! So instead of trying to take on someone else's teaching style, I'm just asking God to use the way He made me to most effectively stir the hearts of the women there. And you know what? He's doing just that, revealing little features about my personality that I am confident in and teaching ideas are coming to mind that line up with that! I absolutely LOVE that we serve a God who uses each of our strengths and weaknesses in different ways! The peace that has come in truly soaking in this realization, is freeing! He keeps reiterating that what's most important is that I'm willing to be used. May I be your hands and feet and voice God! 

Before I wrap this post up, I could for sure use any and all prayers that I would remember to talk sssslooow! I talk fast to begin with and when I'm nervous, I shift into hyper mode- I can just see the blank stares of confusion now! Yes they speak english in Uganda, but our accents are so different, no doubt there is a bit of a language barrier. Seriously, when Joshua came home from Uganda this past time and we were watching all his video footage, we were like 5 minutes into it before I said, "Oh! Wait, are they speaking english!?!"... it's a thick accent folks! So I'm guessing they think ours sounds funny too! All that to say, I need to talk slow and I need prayers! (o; 

Listen to the beautiful voices of Uganda in this video from when Joshua visited Amazima back in July!