From the beginning of this adoption process God has so clearly been revealing Himself to me in new and fresh ways. My regret is that it's taken me so long to genuinely INVITE Him to take my life and use it. If I'm honest, this is the first time that I've truly laid my agenda aside and spent countless nights, staring at the ceiling, pouring my heart out for God to reveal His desires for what our life as a family looks like. His whispers have become louder and louder ever since taking the first step of faith in saying YES to pursuing this journey to "father to the fatherless".
I feel like God is up in my face, hands on my shoulders, looking me square in the eyes, saying, "Don't believe what this world says your life should look like! Believe what my word says your life should look like!". Unintentionally, I have spent the last 30 years of my life incorporating God into Hilary's plans as I saw fit and were convenient for me. I did this, thinking that I was living out the good "Christian life". But in taking one look at what the gospel says my life purpose as a Christian is... it's clear that it's a far cry from what the world is screaming in my face! God doesn't say, "go live a comfortable life, in a beautiful home, pursue a job that you put your security in and bust butt to work your way up the ladder... and oh by the way, go to church on Sundays"! In contrast the gospel calls Christians to a much different life:
- (John 20:21)"As the Father has sent me, I am sending you."
- Jesus' prayer for the believers (John 17:13)" I in them, and you in me, may they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and I have loved them even as you have loved me."
- (Matthew 28:19) "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations".
- (Mark 16:13) "He said to them, go into the world and preach the good news to all creation."
- (Mark 13:10) "And the gospel must first be preached to all nations (people groups)."
It's clear that our God given purpose is to live our lives in whole-hearted pursuit of making His name known, and to do so in love. Knowing that and living that are two totally different things. If I, really believe this to be true wouldn't my life reflect it? Wouldn't my priorities change? Wouldn't there be an urgency to fulfill my purpose of spreading the gospel for the sake of eternal life? God's word says that the gospel must be preached to all people groups before His return... then shouldn't I get off my bum, gladly tune out what the world says my life should look like, and give my all to seeing Christ's return during my lifetime?!
These are the questions I ask myself and have to sort through and am held responsible to answer. Joshua and I are in prayer over what this looks like for our lives. I'm so thankful that this journey to Isa has opened the door of confidence to trust God's purpose for our life on all levels! We continue to beg for God's presence and guidance as we desire fulfill our true purpose!