What we desire for our boys

I can't even begin to tell you how many prayers I've shot up to God begging Him for guidance in this crazy thing we call parenthood! Often my prayer goes something like this... "Please Lord, don't let me jack my kid up! Cover me in your grace... AND cover Jude's ears and heart from anything I say or do that doesn't reflect you well!" If you're a mama, I'm sure you'd agree, we just desperately want the best for our children and hope that we don't get in the way of just that!

Lately there has been a reoccurring theme surrounding me (you know the kind, everywhere you turn, there seems to be an obvious trend of topic. Whether it's the book I'm reading, the message at church, or conversations with friends). Typically this means (eh, I take that back, this ALWAYS means) God is trying to speak to me. God apparently also likes to use life circumstances to push my thoughts towards a topic He's particularly trying to drill home in my life...

I was driving Jude to his first day of Pre- K yesterday and was suddenly hit with the realization that my little man is growing up! Yes, I know... this shouldn't have come as a surprise to me! All kids do it (it's true), I've had 4 years to prep myself for it, yet I felt like I had blinked and my chubby baby (more like little sumo wrestler) had become a slender pre-school big boy in a matter of seconds! I was bombarded with the reality that time is so precious and that investing in that time is everything! This sappy sentimental mom moment carried my thoughts to yet again, you guessed it, the oh so persistent, reoccurring topic! Here it is...

What is our deepest desire for Jude (and Isa) in this life? And how are Joshua and I, as the parents, cultivating in him (them) this desire?

As we sort through what our prayers, hopes, and dreams are for our boys and their future, I can't think of a better way to capture our ultimate desire for their lives than this...

"My daily prayer is that God would use (your) victories, wounds, and transgressions forged along the way to encourage others to risk losing everything to know the life God dreams for them, for you...
Your journey will be where God's pleasure and your purpose meet, not mine. Your destination is the same as mine- an intimate encounter between you and your Creator- but your route will be filled with adventures, both mild and wild, made just for you. No less challenging. No less exhilarating. Uniquely yours. As when Abraham placed Isaac on the altar, when we're ready to risk what we hold most sacred, we step into that adventurous life, the only one that matters. There we find our purpose and feel His pleasure- His delight in us. Beaming with the Light of His image, we clearly see the exact dream He holds for each one of us. In that Light and life, we find Him- our passport through darkness. " (Excellent book! Totally recommend reading it!!!)Passport Through Darkness by Kimberly L. Smith

The resounding answer to the second question (what are we doing to cultivate this desire in him?) that keeps starring us in the face... LIVE IT! Simple as that. God continues to confirm in our hearts that if we desire for Jude to live a life or reckless abandonment, sold out for God's purposes- then we sure as heck better be doing the same! Talk about accountability! When fear creeps in and doubt weighs heavy on my heart, thinking about Jude's little 4 year old eyes watching, soaking in every decision we make, brings me to my knees in prayer. I find myself begging for the courage and wisdom to live "this life on the edge- where so much is uncertain, maybe even scary, certainly out of our control; but also where true freedom lives" .... so that, Jude will do the same with his life! (Kimberly L Smith)

More than success, more than family, more than the American dream..... I wish for my children God's story, God's dream, and the courage to live it!

And I continue to pray and probably always will, "Lord, please don't let me jack up my kid!" (o;

I can only imagine that this message/topic continues to surround me because I'm a slow learner and need constant reminding!

 For entertainment purposes I've included Jude's video of his first day of Pre-K yesterday! Enjoy our silly conversation at the end of the video about transformers and his Capri-Sun!