My ungrateful self... and our June wait list #

So can you tell that Jude is a fan of his new "water slide" in our backyard?! I'm just not sure his crazy screaming face gives it away?! Seriously, I'm amazed at how much fun the kid has climbing up the ladder, going down the slide, landing in a kiddy pool... over and over again! My cheeks hurt after watching him play back there because I'm unknowingly smiling the entire time! It just goes to prove that there isn't much in life that tops watching your kid have a blast! Truly, as a parent, when you're able to offer your child something that you know they're going to love- there's nothing better!

As I sat in the backyard the other night, watching Jude, catching myself laughing and smiling at all of his joyous facial expressions, I got to thinking. Here I sat like a proud mama, happy that my kid was happy... I bet God is like that too! He looks at us, His children, and longs for us to be happy, to enjoy what He's offered us, and when we do- I'm sure His heart wells up with a big smile! But I wonder how often I don't react like Jude, with an over the top happy squeal and instead, I either don't notice what God is offering or I don't seem to care. What a huge disappointment it would have been if we got this play set thing all set up and brought Jude in the backyard to reveal what awesome parents we were (o; ... only to have him be like, "Eh, okay." and turn and walk back inside! I seriously would have been ticked off and had a firm little chat with the boy about being grateful and appreciative, followed by being totally disappointed and heart broken that he didn't like what we were sure he would love!

Here's the deal though... how often am I the girl with the ungrateful reaction to the amazing Texas sunset's, to the refreshing coolness of water on a hot summer day, to the soft green grass in between my toes, to the yumminess of fresh strawberries, to the blessings of family and friendships, to all the beautiful and intricate details in life that God has laid before me?!?! How many disappointing, "blah" reactions must I give to God's incredible gifts every day! Just thinking about it, makes me what to go have a firm little chat with myself about being appreciative! Sigh.

I was reminded of my tendency to lean on the ungrateful side of things again today as I opened the email from our case worker, that I knew contained our official June wait list number. I was so excited to see how many Africa #'s we could flip over (on our count down wall)... only to find out that indeed we were one number HIGHER then I had thought! "Boo!" I literally said out loud. We're now officially #36 for June but according to our list serve, we were #35- so I was hoping for even lower then that. Our May number was #38... so we did move down two spots- but to Ms. Unappreciative Hilary, clearly that was not good enough!

I wonder if God is up in heaven thinking, "Hilary, oh Hilary... you don't know all that I know. You don't know all the beautiful details I am orchestrating so that Isa joins your family at just the perfect time. I wish you would have noticed the mountains I moved for the TWO OTHER fatherless children of mine that were placed with their forever families! My heart longs for you to appreciate and revel in the goodness of all I offer... even my perfect timing!"

With that being said, it's with a grateful spirit, I would like to announce that our official June wait list number on the boys list is #36!!! Wahoo!!! I praise you God for this beautiful number and all the incredible ways you are work in this journey we are on! I want to make you smile God with my reactions in life- may I take this lesson from Jude and learn from it!