tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51165853038045239372023-11-16T09:49:57.819-06:00An Inexhaustible LoveThe Road to EthiopiaJoshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.comBlogger201125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-20242327772127696702014-08-19T13:01:00.002-05:002014-08-19T13:01:23.588-05:00ONE YEAR ago we got THE call and Isaac's been HOME 8 months!!! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghRi5Fvy2sAE48Bze7ldWfebjZ8eLlzUnlQzqmYGvTvCFMkOR_1nHgBjcqmrnS7y5W7POEf5RV2G-lnBC8zI9OWFrYT1iZEDvPPF-9zGxQUmZ2gupdaqE3LoCvZ55iQaGTSZ47gLz9lM4/s1600/isaac+with+birth+mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghRi5Fvy2sAE48Bze7ldWfebjZ8eLlzUnlQzqmYGvTvCFMkOR_1nHgBjcqmrnS7y5W7POEf5RV2G-lnBC8zI9OWFrYT1iZEDvPPF-9zGxQUmZ2gupdaqE3LoCvZ55iQaGTSZ47gLz9lM4/s1600/isaac+with+birth+mom.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a><span class="userContent">Exactly ONE YEAR ago today our world changed
forever, we finally got THE call! We saw our precious son's face for
the very first time! We were blessed beyond words to see photos of him
being held by his birth mother. My breath is still tak<span class="text_exposed_show">en
away by her beauty. August 19th, 2013 will always be a day of joy AND
heartache. You see, we not only instantly fell in love with Isaac but
our lives forever became intertwined with a beautiful mother, on the
other side of the world, who was faced with challenges and hardships
that no one should have to encounter! It's a crazy thing to have such
extreme emotions swirling through your head and heart all at the same
time! To be so utterly in love and captured with the pure joy of FINALLY
knowing who this child is that you've been praying for for the last
three years, staring at every little perfect detail of his face... and
then a moment later, to read through court documents that tell a story
of extreme poverty, sickness, hopelessness and a life that simply isn't
fair! One year ago today, the incredible privilege of raising another
women's child, as my own, instantly weighed heavy on my soul. Right then
and there I made a commitment to always honor Isaac's birth mom and
tell him of her sacrificial love in choosing life for him! I love this
women more than words can say. One year ago today, two worlds collided,
God scooped Isaac up in His hands, and began a redeeming work of
changing a sad story into a happy one. What an overwhelming joy it is to
play a small role in God's story of making beauty from ashes!!!</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUXcEU4ETtCsM7emPIUrwNtdxpISMjLb3uUFMK2pFQPNezgHc-ZW_UjPcOks2MuPS-OglmynbR8wZ-2Ayz_16kyVxzCWV4ItD8ZMtatxD6aRupLuwRipG1kf7topm96HjBp-g1UTixcIw/s1600/mama+and+her+boys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUXcEU4ETtCsM7emPIUrwNtdxpISMjLb3uUFMK2pFQPNezgHc-ZW_UjPcOks2MuPS-OglmynbR8wZ-2Ayz_16kyVxzCWV4ItD8ZMtatxD6aRupLuwRipG1kf7topm96HjBp-g1UTixcIw/s1600/mama+and+her+boys.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">We spent 19 days in Ethiopia, praying boldly that God would move mountains so that Isaac could come home in one trip and be with our family for Christmas. EXACTLY FOUR MONTHS after we received THE call, December 19th, 2013, after 49 brutal hours of travel, exhausted and a bit delusional, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10153652614870217&l=2226090292591741995">we walked through the airport doors</a>, Isaac in our arms, and were greeted by our wonderful family! </span></span><br />
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<span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">So today not only marks the one year anniversary of getting THE call, but it also marks Isaac being HOME FOR 8 MONTHS!!!! Eight joy-filled, fabulous months of holding this boy in my arms, standing in awe of God's faithfulness to set the lonely in families! </span></span><br />
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<br />Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-28040849271892563442014-06-03T10:07:00.004-05:002014-06-03T10:10:13.809-05:00This boy....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX4hEnlIqdOeAHWwlQmhs-xavs4XjngJdAstHc-bV_DaZJBsKaIjxteIRhqLc-89oBQl7Mih6F_mPcAgqqr9WOAnAjD_1fEXRdUuDxRI4cvH0xNwLY21UcKJj0QGwRIaihXfOcyDd6SEw/s1600/Isaac+10months.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX4hEnlIqdOeAHWwlQmhs-xavs4XjngJdAstHc-bV_DaZJBsKaIjxteIRhqLc-89oBQl7Mih6F_mPcAgqqr9WOAnAjD_1fEXRdUuDxRI4cvH0xNwLY21UcKJj0QGwRIaihXfOcyDd6SEw/s1600/Isaac+10months.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
This boy... I'll tell you what, he has captured our hearts! He is full of life and laughter and we are so incredibly blessed to be his family! He's been home over 5 months now and the time has flown by yet it strangely feels like he's always been here! I continue to shake my head in amazement at God's goodness! Jude is simply an INCREDIBLE big brother and was made for this role! Both the boys adore one another which makes my cup runneth over! There is no such thing as "time to blog" anymore- I spend Isaac's nap times frantically getting things done around the house and working on designing and painting signs <a href="https://www.facebook.com/philosophydesign">https://www.facebook.com/philosophydesign</a> . Life is busy and loud and full of smiles and blessings! Every day I thank God for allowing me to be Jude and Isaac's mom- what a privilege and honor it is! Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-46512993525282827262014-01-14T14:13:00.000-06:002014-01-14T14:13:23.079-06:00Isaac Blane 5 months old! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The time to update the blog completely escapes me... but I couldn't resist sharing a few pics of our precious Isaac with y'all!!! We're doing great, adjusting well, and soaking in every day having Isaac home! Jude is an awesome big brother who is super helpful, kind, and compassionate! I am a lucky mama to have two incredible son's!!! Here's the cuteness of our Isaac Blane at 5 months old!</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-26767039310959831782014-01-04T22:11:00.001-06:002014-06-03T10:21:08.925-05:00Isaac Blane's Gotcha Day Video!<div>
We've been home two weeks now and continue to stand in awe of God's faithfulness throughout our entire journey! God writes amazing stories if you simply say YES to His whisper! </div>
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<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/1wS_RxAQnJA/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/1wS_RxAQnJA&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/1wS_RxAQnJA&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-22481287442805150402013-10-10T13:30:00.002-05:002013-10-10T13:30:55.230-05:00This side of the wait<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNy5CrKm6hOA5W6s2zJ_zQrMzwXxBUh1gAL_OaWU25WIm0gQCeHXzYqgE6gRDDyzy4ojOXPTWdloAr3vpRKHCHJOFpFn9vf9-Zjwr9PmFHvS4Oz8P5vhnsnOKVCdNhmHL7Vg-Sb4KQtW0/s1600/Isaac+squished+face-heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNy5CrKm6hOA5W6s2zJ_zQrMzwXxBUh1gAL_OaWU25WIm0gQCeHXzYqgE6gRDDyzy4ojOXPTWdloAr3vpRKHCHJOFpFn9vf9-Zjwr9PmFHvS4Oz8P5vhnsnOKVCdNhmHL7Vg-Sb4KQtW0/s640/Isaac+squished+face-heart.jpg" width="420" /></a>This side of the wait has a whole new set of emotional challenges. I'm often asked if the wait is harder now that we've seen Isaac's face. The truth of it is... it's just a different kind of hard! I haven't forgotten the heart-wrenching struggle of waiting three years for THE call, it's still really fresh in my mind! In respect of the families that are still waiting for their call, it would simply be foolish of me to downplay that side of the wait! Before we received our referral, I honestly thought that if I could just know WHO in the heck I was praying for every day, that my heart would be at peace. I mean, I knew I was praying for our son, but if I'm being real, I felt like I was praying for an imaginary child! So the moment we saw Isaac's precious face my soul took a deep sigh of relief... he is REAL, he has a FACE... that longing, unknown, part of the wait was instantly over! Praise the LORD! But now... now, I have this absolutely beautiful, lushes lips, adorable, squishy faced child, that I KNOW is our son, <i><b>and the wait continues</b></i>! We just shifted from one heart wrenching side of the wait to another. I will say however, that the one thing that is for sure more challenging now that we've seen his face is the urgency I feel in my heart to get to him! The fact that <i>every day</i> he is growing and changing, and that I'm missing it, is heavy on my chest and makes me want to jump on a plane TODAY and go scoop him up! <br />
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This anxious feeling that stirs inside of me to hold my son, brings me to a place that I know the Lord desires for me to be... on my knees. When I feel like things are out of my control (<i>like super frustrating government paper work on this side of the wait</i>) I am continually reminded of the importance of prayer! In my bible study last week (<i>Priscilla Shirer's Gideon study-totally recommend it by the way!</i>) it was talking about how <b>God exists and is not only able but WILLING to intervene in our lives in a personal, miraculous way if we would simply let our requests be known to God. </b>She asks the question: "Are there any areas of you life that you no longer talk to God about because you feel like "that's just the way things are"? If so, what areas are they?" For me, it's easy to look at the government paperwork we are waiting on, as being "just the way things are". For some reason my tendency is to feel like if I can't personally change the situation or come up with the solution- than it's out of my control. BUT God suggests differently!<br />
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So while the paperwork is out of my hands and into the hands of embassy workers half way across the world, I refuse to assume that "it's just the way things are"... and so I am boldly praying for God's divine intervention! I am praying that Isaac's case gets shuffled to the top of the stack of cases and lands in the hands of an efficient and productive embassy worker! I pray for additional embassy employees to be assigned so that the Adoption Unit could have help in working through the backlog of cases. I pray that as the embassy does it's investigation over Isaac's case that everything would unfold smoothly. I pray that this PAIR letter, that we are waiting on in order to receive our preliminary court date, is issued in record time!<br />
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And so I take a deep breath today, as we wait on things that appear to be "just the way they are", and instead, I invite God to move mountains, and stacks of papers, and make a miraculous way for our case to be issued this important PAIR letter.<br />
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<br />Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-41892213846677961902013-08-27T12:06:00.001-05:002013-08-27T12:06:14.168-05:00Name (change) Announcment! <span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">NAME (change) ANNOUNCEMENT! After much thought and conversation, and after seeing our boy's face for the very first time- the hubs
and I have decided that we are going to name our son Isaac instead of
Isa. Yes, we know this is totally confusing considering we've gone with
Isa for the past 2+ years, and for that, we apologize- BUT, if it counts
for anything and makes us seem a little less indecisive, both names do
have the same meaning; laughter! We just feel like the name Isaac fits
him better and so we're sticking with it! That being said, we would like
to officially announce that our son's name is <span style="font-size: large;">Isaac Blane Helms</span>! Blane
is after my dad (o:</span>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-23237895248155983742013-08-24T13:47:00.000-05:002013-08-24T13:47:07.585-05:00THE call!!! Monday, August 19th, 2013... the day we became a family of FOUR!!! Wow, where to begin?!?!? My last post was announcing that on April 19th we found out that we had FINALLY moved into the #1 spot on our wait list!!! Little did I know that it would be another 4 LONG months (to the day actually) that we would sit at number one and wonder every day, "Is today THE day?!". I'm not going to sugar coat it and tell you that it didn't suck, because it did, let's face it... the wait sucks, period! BUT I am here to tell you that God's strength, His grace, His love, His faithfulness- it's REAL and it's what has carried us day by day over the last four months of sitting at #1.<br />
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Here's the crazy amazing part of the wait.... <b>it doesn't last forever</b> (hang tight waiting mamas, YOUR day WILL come)!!! This past Monday, August 19th, at 12:18pm, our wait was OVER!!!! It gives me chills just to write that! <span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">After 4 months of sitting at
#1... after 34 months of sitting on our agency wait list... after 40 months since starting the entire process... and after endless
prayers, tears, and joy along the journey... we got THE call for our boy!!! </span>For so long my heart has ached to just know who our son is, and it FINALLY happened!!! We saw our precious son's face for the very first time, we read through his story, and we cried tears of heartache and tears of joy. We are simply in awe of God's faithfulness to answer every single prayer we've cried out on our son's behalf for the past three years! God's timing and our timing we're clearly not on the same page... BUT it's with confidence that I say GOD'S TIMING IS PERFECT!!!<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> </span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">We have the most precious, itty bitty
Ethiopian boy, who has completely captured our hearts! God's hands have been all over this journey from the very beginning! This is God's beautiful story, that we are just privileged to play a small role in (and pray that we don't mess it up somehow, ha!). </span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxs6QchhNppRp6JncHL_-YdkxX-At6DdNrxSzhlgx_LK0fciupHzsqO59n2RYlH6Xm_rFw3nwaMqJTKWPUdZhBZJgyte0tsrshaHZK9gEU2AvqyA1BdlLjZaElq_ZFT6IhEjmmrLV5h4E/s1600/Isa-heart+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxs6QchhNppRp6JncHL_-YdkxX-At6DdNrxSzhlgx_LK0fciupHzsqO59n2RYlH6Xm_rFw3nwaMqJTKWPUdZhBZJgyte0tsrshaHZK9gEU2AvqyA1BdlLjZaElq_ZFT6IhEjmmrLV5h4E/s400/Isa-heart+face.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Here is our itty bitty Isa, born July 17th, 2013, all 6.5 pounds of him! We can't show his face online before he is legally ours, but trust me when I say that under this little heart is complete cuteness!!! </span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> </span></td></tr>
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> Here's just a glimpse into the goodness of Monday...</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> </span><br /><span class="userContent">Right before we got THE call on Monday, I was
taking a few first grade "back to school" pics of Jude before meeting daddy on his
lunch break at Chick-fil-a. The game plan was to take a few more photos after
lunch since I was only able to squeeze in a few that morning. We h<span class="text_exposed_show">ad
a great lunch with daddy and were pulling out of the Chick-fil-a
parking lot, all the while Jude was informing me of his dislike of my plan to
take more pictures (what?! 6 year old boys don't like to pose and stand
still for photos?!) He simply wanted to go home and play, fair enough! He
made the snarky comment, "<i>We haven't even taken a <b>family</b> picture in
forever, so why do<b> I </b>just have to do it?!</i>" to which I replied, "<i>Because
we're waiting until Isa is home before we take another family pic</i>" (this
has just been my weird emotional hang up since last Christmas- I'm
tired of taking pics with one child missing in the photo). Anyway, this response triggers Jude to say, "<i>I bet you're going to scream when we get THE call for
Isa! You're probably going to cry too, right mom?!</i>" to which I sighed,
"<i>You're probably right... you know, I don't know how the heck I'm react when we
finally get the call?!</i>" At that EXACT MOMENT
as I said the word "call"... my phone rang!!! No joke!!! BUT it didn't
ring the programmed ring I have for our case worker, she must have called from a
different phone in the agency office (dang my brilliant plan to have an
awesome ring tone go off!). But I KNEW it was her because it said
Portland Oregon, and NOBODY else calls me from there! I immediately
screamed, "<i>Jude! I think <b>THIS IS IT</b>?!?!?!?</i>" and him clearly not catching on that
I was actually talking about the phone ringing right that moment, proceeds to
say, "<i>Yeah, I really do bet you'll scream and cry when we get the call</i>"
While driving, I turn back and look him dead in the eyes, and in my
crazy frantic voice yell, "<i>NO! I MEAN... I THINK IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT
NOW?!?!? OH MY GOSH JUDE!!! AHHHH! I'M SCARED TO ANSWER!"</i> That's right folks, I completely
froze for a second in fear that somehow I was going to mess up this call or that it wouldn't actually be our referral! Thankfully I quickly snapped out of it and ever so slowly slid the answer button
over on my phone and cautiously said, "<i>Hello?</i>" in the most curious tone ever. To which I was relieved to hear our case worker's voice on the other end.
She asked me how I was doing and instead of answering her I just said,
"<i>How are <b>YOU</b> doing?!</i>"... she chuckled and said, "<i>Well... I'm doing
REALLY well, and I'm REALLY excited to talk with you about an itty bitty
boy!!!!</i>".... to which I mumbled out, "<i>Wait?! You're EXCITED?! If you're excited that
means I can be excited!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!</i>!" At this point, Jude's
prediction of screaming and crying completely came true!!! He actually said, "<i>See! I knew you would cry mama!</i>" The flood
gates opened, I started screaming and telling Jude he was a big brother!
I can only imagine our case worker sitting in her office holding the
phone at an arms length away from her face in order to not blow out her
eardrums! Finally I calmed myself down enough for her to tell me that
Joshua and I both needed to be in front of a computer, together if
possible and she asked me if we would be able to do that. Since I had literally left Joshua from lunch not 2 minutes earlier, he
was headed back to his teacher training thing, and I wanted to catch him before he got in his next meeting. I told her I would
call him right away and we'd make it happen! I hung up with her and in
record speed called Joshua (<i>this is all while I'm driving mind you... I
have no idea how I got home that day! I'm pretty sure angels had the
steering wheel!</i>). Joshua answers the phone, "<i>Yeah?</i>" with the hurried tone of
"<i>Why are you calling me already, I JUST saw you?!</i>" (classic) I just start
screaming, "<b><i>WE HAVE A BOY, WE HAVE A BOY, WE HAVE A BOY!!!</i></b>". He said,
"<i>Are you kidding?!</i>", confused that within just a couple minutes we had gotten THE call. I reassured him it was NO JOKE and that he need to
get home so we could see our son's face!!! He hurried to school,
and one perk to having been in this adoption process for three
stinking years is, EVERYBODY knows! The lady he had to get approval from
gladly sent him home with her blessings! Jude and I made it home and as I waiting on Joshua to get home, I hurried and called my family and some close friends just to let them know IT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING, we were about to find out who are son was!!! Jude stood there in the living room and watched me cry tears of joy. He's my tender-hearted little guy, so he kept saying, "<i>These are all happy tears, right mom?" </i>and I reassured him that all the tears he would see over the next week would be HAPPY TEARS. The garage door opened and in walked my best friend, the man I've been blessed to walk this journey with. There were no words spoken. Just tears. Lots of tears as we embraced each other. Joshua's poor shirt got my snot and tears all over the shoulder. (o: And in the middle of sniffles, we hear Jude say, "<i>Mom's been crying a lot- but don't worry dad, they're happy tears! It's time for a family hug!</i>". Best moment ever! </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJn4mqGHp524k9BEsGkUeMNaYbrZnEpc5Q_XOIujF20fZH6Vjet-oHm6uS15bDVQuMZLvDlMrwrk5WIefporz2ly7xPhe6auTZGJyOOA_eIPsMmOBPTqVCx9RXwepG7yQZSZal71cbcQM/s1600/IMG_0803.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJn4mqGHp524k9BEsGkUeMNaYbrZnEpc5Q_XOIujF20fZH6Vjet-oHm6uS15bDVQuMZLvDlMrwrk5WIefporz2ly7xPhe6auTZGJyOOA_eIPsMmOBPTqVCx9RXwepG7yQZSZal71cbcQM/s400/IMG_0803.jpg" width="266" /></a><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">And the rest of the story is
for another day! Oh such a crazy wonderful day that I will remember for
the rest of my life! I LOVE that Jude and I experienced THE call
together at the exact moment we were talking about actually getting the
call! It's just crazy to me! We will forever share that moment together and it fills my heart to overflowing!
Jude is truly going to be the best big brother Isa could ask for! He has
prayed for his brother now for three years, every single night! Isa
buddy, Jude has been looking out for you for a long time and he
promises to continue to look out for you for the rest of your life!
Little did Jude know when I snapped this pic, less than an hour later he
would be a big brother!!!</span></span><br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-29293090854732366072013-04-23T22:12:00.001-05:002013-04-23T22:12:08.943-05:00ONE... what a fabulous number!!!! EEEK! This past Friday afternoon I was taking big ole' Izzy, the Great Pyrenees dog that lives across the street from us, for a walk. We dog-sit for her when our neighbors are out of town- she's seriously like a pony! Anyway, I was on the other side of our subdivision when I decided to pull my phone out of my pocket and give Joshua a quick call. Him and Jude were about to head to Walmart and I was hoping to catch him and ask if he'd pick up some flavored drink packets while they were there (<i>because, let's just be honest, we all know flavored water tastes so much better than the plain stuff</i>). But before I could call I noticed I had apparently missed a call, which I thought was strange because I had never heard it ring. I took one look at who my missed call was from and stopped dead in my tracks! It was from a fellow adopting friend of mine, Emma. You see, Emma isn't just "another adopting friend of mine" she's THE gal who is directly in front of us on the wait list! Over the past several months, we've developed a unique friendship entirely based on texts and FB messages. We pray for our babies and encourage one another as we wait and desperately try to be patient trusting in God's perfect timing. Between Emma and my sweet friend Allison, we check in with each other almost every other day! (<i>I'll share</i> <i>Allison and I's special friendship for another post but just so you know, she's #2 on the girl's list, neck and neck with us</i>!) To most, it might seem like communicating only through texts and FB messages would be impersonal, but I'm telling you, words can't express what a blessings these gals are in my life! No doubt the fact that we're all in the same boat and "get it" automatically connects us on a deeper level! Several months ago Emma and I had established an agreement that when she got THE CALL for her son, she would call me, no matter what time it was, and let me know. That way I would know that we had moved into the ever coveted #1 spot on the list, and I could celebrate with her that she finally got to see her son's face for the very first time!!! So you can imagine my excitement when I saw I had a missed CALL from her, NOT a text, but a CALL!!!! I knew exactly what it meant! I quickly listened to her voice mail, hanging up half way through it, because I just wanted to hurry up and call her back and talk to her in person. As the phone rang and I waited for her to answer, it was as if time stood still and a wave of pure joy flooded my heart. Genuine excitement, for a gal who I had never actually talked to, consumed every fiber of my being! Prayers had been answered and on this day, there was one less orphan in the world and my sweet friend Emma had become a mama! Before she even picked up on the other end of the line happy tears were rolling down my face... as I stood on the street corner in my neighborhood, pony in hand, I'm sure looking ridiculous! Y'all when she answered, all I could hear was the joy of a mama who had waiting almost 3 years to meet her son! Pure greatness!!!! GOD IS GOOD.<br />
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I hung up with her and immediately the realization that her referral meant that WE WERE #1 ON THE LIST!!!! I think up until this point, I honestly thought my worst nightmare was coming true and we would have come all this way only to be FOREVER stuck at #2! I almost needed to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming and that it was true, the #1 spot was finally ours! Then it hit me, "Oh my gosh! I have to tell Joshua!!!!" Hoping that I could catch them before they left for Walmart, I start running back to our house... in flip flops... tears streaming down my face... with a pony dragging behind me (<i>I looked ridiculous, but could care less, I was on a mission to tell my boys the good news!</i>). Sure enough, my awesome flip flop running skills payed off and as I rounded the corner into our cul-de-sac, here came our old Ford Focus with my boys in it! I waved them down, met them in the road, and was able to share the best news yet about our adoption... we were FINALLY #1!!!!!!!!!! Both Joshua and Jude were absolutely thrilled! Jude started chanting from the back seat, "Isa! Isa! Isa!" as if he were at a sporting event. Oh how this boy can't wait to be a big brother!!! Such a good day... and day filled with hope that we really are in the homestretch of this journey!<br />
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This means THE call could come any day now and I'm just sayin', if I'm this excited and emotional about being #1, I can only imagine the hot mess I will be when the actual call <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYNq6AARRaIaRaK9gnu6ezHXIeU8jnnvOuxMTzcc0g49PTxSPT4D4JyrNoLc22ZMLCitySf2Mm7NwvlfnPXajutKPau5y9QtPjP3ZDu4l_jpmWexhhRt4Lc7I3K6G_QrM8qEsEx6lHtOg/s1600/15044_10152783248450217_433630063_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYNq6AARRaIaRaK9gnu6ezHXIeU8jnnvOuxMTzcc0g49PTxSPT4D4JyrNoLc22ZMLCitySf2Mm7NwvlfnPXajutKPau5y9QtPjP3ZDu4l_jpmWexhhRt4Lc7I3K6G_QrM8qEsEx6lHtOg/s320/15044_10152783248450217_433630063_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Went on the waitlist at #71 in Oct 2010 and now we sit at #1! </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
comes and we see Isa's face for the very first time! I get teary just thinking about it, sheesh! I'm carrying my phone on me at all times, checking and re-checking it, just to make sure I didn't miss a call, because I mean after all, I missed Emma's call?! It could happen, so it's important to check it every 10 minutes or so, right?! I stare at it and try and will it to ring, which hasn't worked yet, but it won't stop me from continuing to try! The call could come tomorrow or it may be several more weeks, but for the sake of my sanity, I sure hope it's sooner than later! (o: Isa buddy, we sure can't wait to meet you! Longest pregnancy EVER but not doubt it will be worth every minute!!! <br />
Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-87927314601046569582013-03-31T19:32:00.003-05:002013-03-31T19:33:48.763-05:00A note to Isa<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Isa,</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Buddy... I just need you to know how incredibly anxious/excited we are to know that it won't be too much longer before we see your precious face! We're officially #2 on the wait list right now and I can't help but feel in my soul that the time is near that we'll get "the call" that will forever change our lives!!! I find myself day dreaming about what you'll look like. Your tiny hands and chubby feet. Every sweet little brown baby I see, when I'm out and about, I catch myself gazing at (<i>which I'm sure it awkward to the parent of the child</i>), longing for the day that I'm the one out and about with MY sweet little brown baby... YOU! I try and imagine what your little personality will be like. Will you be soft spoken and shy like your brother Jude or full of spunk and outgoing?! The one thing I'm certain of is we love you already, without even knowing a single detail about you!!! We love the way that our journey to you has opened our eyes and hearts to God's love in fresh new ways! This journey has strengthened our faith in the Lord, rooted our dependency in Christ alone, and changed our family for the better! God is using your story in mighty ways for the kingdom already Isa!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I pray for you every day, trusting that God is holding you in the palm of His hand, protecting you, meeting your every need, and surrounding you with unconditional love. I pray that in the depths of your being, that there is an unexplainable peace rooted in your heart that you have a forever family waiting on you... wanting you... and loving you... and most importantly, I pray that you feel God's love.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Your mama loves you so much! Just wanted you to know! Happy Easter Isa! </span></span>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-20800609174931223722012-10-21T16:06:00.001-05:002012-10-21T16:06:05.865-05:002 years<br />
Exactly 2 years ago today, after months of tackling paperwork and raising funds, we were finally added to the much anticipated boy wait list with our adoption agency! We started at #71 on the list... and today we sit at #4!!! I could go on and on about the crazy amazing stories God has written in this 2 year window, but what brings my heart the most joy is knowing that 67 little orphan boys have been given a forever family since we were added to the list! This wait sure seems long some days, but I rest in the truth that God is busy placing the lonely in families and I'm confident He's writing a story of restoration and redemption right now for our sweet Isa! I love that He makes all things beautiful! Can't wait to see our sweet babes face! <br />
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<br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">Hil</span></span></span>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-60573755963306299062012-10-03T11:41:00.000-05:002012-10-03T11:41:27.151-05:00Lifeguard Maddy<br />
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So clearly my lack of time is totally effecting my blog writing! Part of me feels guilty and wants to apologize for the lack of updates and promise to do better and make a point to blog more often... BUT who I am kidding and who the heck am I apologizing too?! So I'll take this moment to remind myself that I have been doing LIFE and LIFE comes before writing! If I was sitting around being lazy and twiddling my thumbs that would be one thing- but no siree bob, I'm one busy mama! At the end of the day, I think the little nagging guilty feeling isn't because I unrealistically think that I have readers who I owe an apology to, rather it's that I want to make sure that I adequately document all the amazing things that God is doing throughout our journey. For Isa's sake... and for mine! So often I forget about God's goodness, an answered prayer, His divine intervention... but if I have it written down, than I can reflect back over His faithfulness and once again stand in awe. So my prayer is that despite this season of busyness and the inability to write as often as I'd like- that God's goodness would remain fresh on my mind! May the incredible details that He is weaving together to bring Isa home and to transform our family never loose their awesomeness, whether written down or not! <br />
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All that being said, I would not want to leave a good God story unfinished, so I'll share with you part 2 from <a href="http://helmshappenings-ethiopia.blogspot.com/2012/08/in-facets-unseen.html">my last blog post</a>!....<br />
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To catch you up real quick, the gist of part 1 of the story is this... I received an email from a friend, that was intended to share with me how God had been at work over the past 2 years transforming her heart from a place of bitterness to a place of beauty. But because of my emotional, insecure self, I got hung up on one line in her email about the fact that our fundraising had rubbed her the wrong way initially. After "pout praying" (<i>yes, that's a real term</i>) I re-read her email a couple times, asking for God's
perspective, where He revealed, once again that His story is far bigger than
mine- and that He will use our life how He sees fit (<i>even in ways that
make us uncomfortable</i>) so that He can restore hope and healing to the
broken! It was the following pout prayer that took place and got me to the point of seeing things through God's lens...<br />
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"God, Seriously, if SHE thought this, then no doubt, EVERYBODY does! Oh my
gosh, how many other people are walking around out there thinking that
we have some sort of expectation that they should pay for our life!? I'm
not even kidding God, I'm so tired of fundraising!!!"<br />
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(<i>then the overwhelming realization that if/when we move to Zambia,
we'll have to be raising support there too came crashing down on me!</i>)</div>
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"AHHH!!! GRRR!!! God, I know it seems like you're paving the way for us
to get to Africa once Isa gets home, but UGH, I do NOT want to be a
missionary and have to raise support for the rest of our lives! You hear
me right?! I'm done! (<i>insert pout, whine, pout, whine!</i>). For
real God, if this Zambia thing is where you're taking us, I need some
serious clarity... and a paycheck would be nice too!" </div>
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I can only assume that because my emotions were blowing everything out of proportion, I instinctively pulled the "Africa card" out on God. The truth is, this gal's email mentioned nothing of us raising support in the future if/when we get to Africa- but I figured while I was on a role letting God know the parameters in which He could use me, I might as well make it crystal clear to Him that I was less than excited about any future support raising possibilities! </div>
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All that being said, after re-reading her email through God's lens, I began to have a sense of peace about the whole thing. You see, God could have stopped there- He could have just left me with a new perspective and that would have been sufficient. But He didn't. He poured more peace on my soul that day! Remember how I begged for some serious clarity about Zambia if that's where He would take us?!...</div>
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We decided to head to the neighborhood pool as a family later that afternoon- at this point, I had pulled myself together and was totally up for a some quality family time and suntanning (<i>I'm always up for both those things!</i>). Joshua, Jude and I had gotten out of the water for lunch and were eating our packed picnic on some lawn chairs. I noticed a young girl lifeguard approaching us that I had never seen before. (<i>If you know me at all, than you know that the lifeguard instructor that lives inside of me makes me keenly aware of every lifeguard at the pool! I critique their skills, or lack there of, behind their back and regularly point out to Joshua, or anyone who will listen for that matter, which lifeguards are quality and which lifeguards are crappy. It's horrible, I know.) </i>All that to say, all summer long, I had never seen this lifeguard girl before. She walked straight up to us and the following conversation took place...</div>
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<b>Lifeguard:</b> Mr. Helms?</div>
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<b>Joshua:</b> Hey there! </div>
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<b>Lifeguard:</b> I don't know if you remember me, my name is Maddy, and I was one of your students like 3 years ago?"</div>
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(<i>Keep in mind this happens to us A LOT when we're out and about- it's just a given when have a husband for a teacher/coach! The uncomfortable thing is that Joshua is HORRIBLE at remembering names and faces, so half the time he just smiles and goes with it</i>.)</div>
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<b>Joshua:</b> Yes, Maddy! I remember you! (<i>he was being honest here... this time!</i>) How are you?</div>
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<b>Lifeguard Maddy:</b> Good! I just wanted to come say hi to you guys, I saw you walk in here to the pool a little bit ago and I had been thinking of your family! I heard that you guys are thinking about moving to Zambia?!</div>
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(<i>At this point I totally perk up wondering how in the world this mysterious lifeguard girl had heard anything about us moving to Zambia?!</i>)</div>
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<b>Joshua:</b> Yeah, we are! How did you know that?! </div>
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<b>Lifeguard Maddy:</b> Well, just last week I was actually IN ZAMBIA on a mission trip with my church! We worked with a place called Lifesong for Orphans along side of Mitzi and Shane McBride! We would have dinner in the evenings at the McBride's house and one night I saw your family picture hanging on their refrigerator! I told Mitzi, "Hey! That guy used to be my teacher!" And Mitzi shared that you guys are actually praying about moving out there to work along side of them!</div>
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<b>Me (you know I had to chime in here!):</b> Seriously Maddy?! That's crazy! Yes, we have been praying for quite awhile about moving there to work with them! Things are still up in the air with everything because we're waiting on our adoption, and we can't make any big commitments until we get our Isa home. That's crazy though that you saw our picture on their fridge! (<i>Hold up! Had God seriously just put a teenage girl right in front of me to speak peace into
my heart?! For goodness sakes, she had just been to
the EXACT same place/ministry in Zambia that we're praying about moving
to and she's coming to talk to us on the EXACT same day that I was
begging God for clarity?! Uhm, YES that's the way my God rolls!</i>) </div>
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<b>Lifeguard Maddy:</b> Well, I just feel like I need to tell you that it is TRULY AMAZING THERE! The kids are awesome, the work they're doing there is awesome, and the McBride's are awesome! It was truly a life changing trip and I can't wait to go back! I'm actually praying about applying for an internship there right now! Who knows, maybe we'll all be there together someday?! </div>
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The conversation went on for a couple more minutes about her time there and how God had used it to change her forever. All the while sweet lifeguard Maddy completely unaware of the fact that God was using her to speak peace to my heart! Ironically, she shared her fears (and her parent's fears) about the task of raising support if she did decided to go over there as an intern. It was if God whispered, "Now... it's your turn Hilary to bring peace to her heart". I was able to encourage her to never let support raising get in the way of your obedience to go and do what God asks of you! I genuinely shared that while it's hard and uncomfortable, God will bless it richly and use it in ways you never thought imaginable! </div>
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She thanked me for my encouragement and said, "Well, who knows?! Maybe we'll all be working there together one day! I'm so glad I came over to talk to you guys, I just knew when I saw you guys walk in today that I needed to come talk to you!" </div>
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Oh sweet "mysterious lifeguard that I've never seen before Maddy", if you only knew how God used you that day! Coincidental that you felt the need to come talk to us, I think not! Thank you God for using Maddy that Thursday afternoon in August to reassure me that you are indeed alive and well! You are indeed alive and well and at work in Zambia, at Lifesong, with the McBride's... and if it takes a teenage girl to travel half way across the world to see our family picture on a refrigerator, so that you can later use her to speak encouraging truth into our lives- than so be it! YOUR ARE WORTH FOLLOWING, no matter the costs, even if we have to raise support for the rest of our lives. Thanks for the clarity God. I stand in awe. </div>
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<span style="color: #45818e;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Hil</span></span></span></div>
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<i> </i></div>
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Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-54454113067910904972012-08-21T22:46:00.000-05:002012-08-21T22:49:28.187-05:00In Facets Unseen<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
Last week I received an email that quite honestly stirred up a mix of emotions inside of me. The gist of it is this... a friend emailed me to let me know that for the past 2+ years God has been working on her heart in some pretty significant ways. Unbeknownst me, when we first "announced" that we were going to be adopting, the fact that we would be fundraising, left her negatively thinking, "Wow! So they're adopting and wanting all of us to pay for it?"... Here me when I say, when I read her honesty in admitting that this was her initial thought, MY HEART COMPLETELY SUNK! First off, it is my worst nightmare for ANYONE to think for a second that we have ANY expectation that someone should give! I'll be the first to say that fundraising & raising support is NOT at the top of my fun list, and there have been many days I've cried over how uncomfortable it makes me feel. BUT no matter what, I KNOW it is God who placed the burden of adoption on our hearts and when we prayed and asked for how the heck we were suppose to financially come up with the means to do it, we felt like God told us to simply "let the need be known and watch Him provide". </div>
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I tend to think that I have a pretty good radar for the people that probably are taken back by our life choices and those who think we might be a little crazy (<i>or really crazy</i> <i>for that matter</i>) for fundraising for our adoption. Here's the deal though, this email completely threw me for a loop
because this gal was someone I would have NEVER pegged for thinking
this! I was floored! Clearly my radar was way off! I was
clueless that she ever had a single negative thought about our adoption!
Side note: I'd be lying if I said that it didn't bother me that inevitably there will be people that are rubbed wrong by our fundraising, (<i>heck I had one lone <b>stranger</b> negatively comment on a blog post almost 2 years ago, and it still bothers me! I've often thought I'd like to sit down with this person over coffee and try and explain myself in hopes that they would change their mind and like me and not think I'm a free-loader once they hear me out! Can you tell I'm a people pleaser?!</i>) That being said, I know I will never have the approval of everyone and ultimately at the end of the day, it'll be God that I stand before, and I KNOW it's His approval that is most important! </div>
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I feel shallow in admitting that the rest of her email was a bit of a blur at the time as I was still stuck on her initial thought being, "Wow! So they're adopting and wanting all of us to pay for it?" I cringed that she ever thought this! I walked away from the computer with a flood of insecurities eating at me... which prompted the following (<i>super mature</i>) conversation with God...</div>
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"Seriously, if SHE thought this, then no doubt, EVERYBODY does! Oh my gosh, how many other people are walking around out there thinking that we have some sort of expectation that they should pay for our life!? I'm not even kidding God, I'm so tired of fundraising!!!" </div>
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(<i>then the overwhelming realization that if/when we move to Zambia, we'll have to be raising support there too came crashing down on me!</i>)</div>
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"AHHH!!! GRRR!!! God, I know it seems like you're paving the way for us to get to Africa once Isa gets home, but UGH, I do NOT want to be a missionary and have to raise support for the rest of our lives! You hear me right?! I'm done! (<i>insert pout, whine, pout, whine!</i>). For real God, if this Zambia thing is where you're taking us, I need some serious clarity... and a paycheck would be nice too!" </div>
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It's funny how in re-writing how that little "chat" went down, I sound a lot like a bratty teenager who is throwing a hissy fit over not getting my way! Yes, I'm a 31 year old grown women... apparently with an insecure, overwhelmed, people pleasing, teenage girl who lives inside me! </div>
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I love how God, regardless of our approach, always seems to gently speak back with His subtle nudge that is easy to miss if you're not seeking it. After I spewed all my worries and complaints, I managed to somehow tune into His whisper (<i>which is becoming more familiar to me the more I beg for His will in my life</i>)<b>, "Read her email again. Not through YOUR eyes Hilary, but through MINE"</b>... and so I prayed for God to help give me His perspective, to help me read her words through His lens and not my own emotional lens. As I re-read her email probably three or four times, it was as if God
had gone through it with a yellow highlighter and underlined and
drew my attention to each line that had His love written all
over it!</div>
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Suddenly new lines captured my heart... </div>
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"<i>And that began sort of a spiritual revival in my heart</i>" <br />
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"<i>2+ years later the Lord has given me a new song to
sing. A song about my own adoption into his family. A song about his
heart for "the least of these." A song about the sacrifice that
families and people make to follow the heart of Jesus.</i>" </div>
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" <i>a beautiful weaving of our lives and stories together</i>"</div>
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" <i><span style="font-size: small;">He used you and your faithfulness to open my eyes to the selfishness and pride in my life"</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">"<i>He has redeemed what was once very, very dark and broken</i></span><i><span style="font-size: small;">"</span></i></div>
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You see, the point of her email wasn't ever intended for my self-centered insecurities to get stuck on that one line, <i>"Wow! They're adopting and wanting everyone else to pay for it?"</i>.... the point of her email was to share how God had redeemed and restored her from that initial thought! This email wasn't about ME at all, but about the beautiful work God has been doing the past couple years in her life! </div>
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God is revealing to me that sometimes my life may need to rub someone the wrong way, in order for Him to get to work in their heart. Sometimes I may not like the way God uses me to accomplish His bigger plan, but I just need to <b>get over myself</b> and rest in the truth that His plan is far greater than my own! He is a God of healing and restoration and drawing people back to Himself, and if He chooses to use our story, even in a way I don't necessarily like initially, than so be it! </div>
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It's amazing how one's perspective can change so quickly when we ask to see a situation through God's lens! He is at work in facets unseen every day in our lives! Last week, I was just given the privilege to catch a glimpse into one of the ways He's using our adoption journey (<i>even the dreaded fundraising</i>) for His bigger purpose! </div>
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That same day, God continued to show off, pouring His peace into my heart, revealing His perspective into my life. But this post is getting a little lengthy, so I'll wait and share the second half of the story for another day! It's good stuff! </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;">Hil</span></span><br />
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<br />Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-69671323468140915352012-07-27T20:25:00.000-05:002012-07-27T20:37:06.142-05:00God knew...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">
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Well, it's official... I'm completely out of the swing of things when it comes to knocking out blog posts! I'm not sure why I feel the obligation to let everyone know why I've put blog writing on the back burner, but my hunch is that it has something to do with the people pleasing side of me that worries about what others think. For some reason I fear that there is one lone person out there that might assume there is a direct correlation between my lack of blog posts written and me having a lack of passion or interest in all that God is doing in our lives! Rest assured, more now than ever before, I am passionate and invested in our adoption journey and I am in awe of God's faithfulness! I have never had such peace about God's timing and His divine orchestrating of every detail as I do now! The sole reason I have completely slacked at posting is because life has been cRaZy nutty here this summer and all the twists and turns that come with it, have made sitting down to write be the least of my worries! </div>
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Here's a quick update of the past 2 months and all it's happenings!....</div>
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Needless to say this has not been the "summer break" Jude (<i>or his mommy and daddy</i>) had hoped for! He has spent more time out of commission with being sick rather than doing any summertime playing! I think we'd all agree, that's no fun for a 5 year old, summers are suppose to be spent on the slip'n slide and running barefoot until dark. So we are all more than ready for him to be back and at 'em for good! </div>
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It all started in June when Jude came down with a strange virus that lasted for a solid 10 days. We were at a loss for what was going on with his poor little body! First we thought he had just come down with strep again (<i>7 times in the past 12 months, and we've unfortunately become pros at strep throat!</i>). What threw us for a loop this go around, since it had never happened previously with his strep, was that day 2, he woke up vomiting (<i>side note: we've managed to make it 5 years without him throwing up, which I think deserves a high five- but this also meant we had one scared little boy who didn't understand what the heck was happening to his body- boo to throwing up! It's NO FUN!</i>). We thought that maybe he had caught the stomach bug on top of having strep, and although the vomiting did go away after 24 hours, he was not perking back up in the slightest and his diarrhea continued and had us worried about dehydration ! To make a long story short (<i>or at least attempt to</i>), after 7 days of Jude being incredibly lethargic, not eating anything, getting a doozy of a shot in his thigh for the strep we thought he had (<i>which didn't do ANYTHING to help him- it only gave him a serious fear of needles</i>), and our doctor at the time being more concerned about talking about himself rather than our kiddo, we switched doctors to get a second opinion! My only regret is that I wish we would have switched doctors years ago! The new doctor was SO much better, asking questions, listening, and she actually determined that Jude in fact did NOT have strep. She wasn't sure what was going on with our little man, but she said it wasn't normal either and worried that he might have mono or something else. She ordered Jude to have quite a bit of blood work done (<i>which was a heart breaking moment for this mama to have to reassure her scared boy that everything would be okay after the giant needle experience earlier in the week!). </i>Once the results came back, other than determining that his potassium levels were pretty low, everything else came back normal. The doc reassured us that no news was good news and that this probably just meant he had some strange virus! Sure enough, after 10 days, he started to perk back up and we slowly but surely saw our normal Jude return! </div>
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Jude then had a week and half to play his heart out like normal and "recover" before his already scheduled tonsillectomy was due to take place the beginning of July! We did our best to bulk him up since he had lost so much weight from previously being sick, especially knowing that after his surgery, he would loose even more weight from only eating liquids and soft food for awhile. Joshua and I both felt comfortable about Jude going into surgery the day of, because he really had bounced back to normal. Removing his tonsils and adenoids went great and he was such a trooper after surgery! We braced ourselves for the worst as far as recovery goes (<i>PS... if you're a mama getting ready to take your kiddo in for a tonsillectomy, <b>don't</b> google anything about it! There are some serious horror stories- save yourself the worry!</i>) BUT we were pleasantly surprised when Jude handled it like a champ! He ate, drank, and took his meds like such a trooper and quite honestly this recovery seemed like a breeze compared to his virus a couple weeks before! I'll be the first to admit that my biggest complaint was a selfish one, and it was just that both Joshua and I were super tired from getting up every 4 hours through the night to give Jude pain meds. But all in all, I bragged on how well everything had gone and thought we totally lucked out with Jude tolerating this recovery so well! The doc told us that there was no activity for 10 days, but after that- he should be good go! </div>
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Sure enough, after 10 days, Jude was anxious to get back to the pool and play with his cousin! We were all going a bit stir crazy quite honestly! We still made sure he took it easy at the pool, no wrestling or crazy stunts- and he appeared to be doing great! It looked like summer was finally under way and that Jude could at last get back to his normal fun! That is until the evening of day 14.... </div>
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This past Tuesday night around 11pm Jude called out from his bedroom. Daddy went to check on him and he was complaining that it felt like he had a hair stuck in the back of his throat. Joshua turned on his bedroom light to check it out and Jude started to cough/gag into his blankey. Once he pulled the blanket away from his mouth Joshua noticed that there was some blood on it. He called for me to come in there and bring the flashlight so we could look into Jude's throat. But by the time I got there, Jude was already in his bathroom coughing and spitting up a disturbing amount of bright red blood into the sink. I remembered the doctor saying this<i> could</i> happen when the scabs fell off, (<i>although I was pretty sure we were past the normal window of when this would happen</i>) but the doctor had said the best thing we could do is <b>not</b> freak out because it would only scare him more. Keeping this in mind, we managed to keep our wits about us and I called the doctors office to have the on call doctor paged. He called me right back and at this point Jude had been bleeding for about 5 minutes- he told me if it didn't stop after 10 minutes to head to the ER. In the meantime, just to have him swish ice cold water in his mouth and spit. Sure enough, his spit started to become more clear and I could tell the bleeding was slowing down. After 7-8 minutes, it seemed to be under control, and so Joshua and I took a deep breath and looked at each other like, "Well that was crazy!". I was able to look into his throat with the flashlight at this point and see that it still looked pretty bloody and in fact the scab on the right hand side of his throat had fallen off and there was a little hole there. I worried that the same thing was going to happen if/when the scab on the other side came off, so I climbed into bed with him for about an hour and laid there just staring at his sweet face and mouth to make sure there was no more blood! He quickly fell back to sleep and seemed to be okay, so I reluctantly went back to our bed hoping to get some sleep myself. I laid there, eyes wide open, worried that he would start to bleed again and not wake up and choke on his own blood- but eventually I dozed off while praying. I woke at 2:30am and went in and checked on our little angel who was peacefully sleeping and all seemed well. It seemed like I just laid my head back down on my pillow and blinked and the next thing I heard was Jude calling out at 5:15am! I sprang out of bed and ran into his room where blood was pouring out of Jude's mouth as he was crying for me. His eyes were as big as saucers and I could tell his look was a combination of fear and the fact that he was about to vomit. I scooped him up and brought him to the bathroom. I'll spare you the details because frankly it's so disturbing and the images are forever imprinted in my mind! </div>
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Immediately I knew we needed to get in the car and head to the ER because this was way worse than the first episode earlier in the night and I saw no sign of it slowing down. Joshua quickly grabbed the bucket we use to wash our cars from the garage for Jude to hold in front of him and we jumped in the car and floored it to the hospital that's only like 5 minuets down the road (<i>what a blessing</i>)! By the time we were pulling up to the emergency room doors, it appeared that the bleeding had again stopped and I sat there second guessing if we should have even come. I always fear being the crazy mom who overreacts (<i>Although, I gotta say... I think any parent in this situation would wig out- so I don't feel too silly showing up at the ER.</i>) All this to say, I was on the phone with the doctor I had spoken with earlier in the night and he said to go ahead and go on in, that he was on the way and they would check him out to make sure he was all good. So, bloody bucket and all, I brought Jude into the ER, while daddy parked the car. Immediately the gals behind the counter jumped up and were like, "What in the world happened?!" as they noticed the blood all over Jude's face and covering his PJ's. They quickly got him checked in and in no time the on-call doctor I had spoken with was there. He took one look at Jude's throat and said he needed to go in for emergency surgery to have his throat re-cauterized. My heart sank a bit as I realized this meant Jude would have to get an IV and I knew this would be tough for him- he is just so over needles at this point! We talked to Jude about how even when you're brave, it doesn't mean you you're not scared, and how it's okay to be scared- but to not let the fear win out. He did awesome and listened and obeyed to everything the nurses asked him to do, all the while he had broken out into a cold sweat and was shaking uncontrollably. Broke my heart! I cried for him. They quickly wheeled him back for surgery and the doc said it would be a super quick procedure, like 5-10 minutes! He said just to hang tight in the waiting room and they'd come get us. </div>
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As Joshua and I sat in the waiting room, my mind replayed images of the CSI looking scene in Jude's bathroom that we would have to clean up once we got home. I was trying to figure out how we could get it cleaned up before Jude saw it, thinking it would totally freak him out. After a little bit, I realized we were waiting longer than the doctor had originally said we would, but I just told myself that they would surely come get us once Jude was in recovery. Eventually the doctor did in fact come into the waiting room shaking his head and sighing (<i>not the facial expression you're typically hoping for from your doctor!</i>) He quickly told us, that Jude was okay- BUT that while they were putting the tube down his throat Jude's mouth immediately filled up with blood and began pouring out of his mouth and nose! A blood vessel/artery had busted resulting in him loosing a significant amount of blood fast! Thankfully the doctor was able to get the bleeding under control but had to cauterize a pretty large area in order to do so. He also had to vacuum out his stomach due to the amount of blood that inevitably drained into it. (<i>Another side note: did you know that it takes less than 1/2 teaspoon of your own blood in your stomach to make you throw up?!... The nurse told me that.</i> <i>Consider that little known fact a freebie for you just for sticking with reading this long post!</i>) He said that it was a good thing we went ahead and came on in because we would NOT have wanted this blood vessel to burst at home! More than likely it would have resulted in a blood transfusion. He also decided to go ahead and admit Jude to the hospital in order to keep a close eye on him. So we spent this past Wednesday hanging out in hospital room 10, cuddling with our sweet boy, realizing how fleeting life can be, and counting our blessings that we are blessed to have doctors and hospitals near by for moments just like these! They released Jude Wednesday evening around 8pm under strict instruction to take it super easy this next week and only eat a soft food diet. They cannot guarantee this won't happen again, although they say the chances are super slim. There is nothing we could have done to prevent this from happening, they say it is so rare to have any bleeding after 10 days, but every so often there is this fluke chance of bad luck that it'll happen. We pray that we steer clear from anything else causing another bleed- but more than anything we trust that God is in control and will prepare us for whatever is to come! Hopefully an uneventful rest of the summer!!!! (<i>So you know how I was worried about getting the bloody CSI crime scene cleaned up before we got home so Jude wouldn't freak out? Well my awesome parents came to my house, washed all the sheets, and cleaned the entire bathroom! Its looked spotless when we walked in the door! We are truly blessed!)</i></div>
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A cRaZy summer right?! ... Here is my new perspective.... thank goodness God's timing is SO much better than ours! My impatient heart has been hoping for our referral for quite some time! And quite honestly it still is longing for the day we get to see sweet Isa's face for the very first time! But let me just say that as we were sitting there in the hospital room earlier this week I thought to myself, "Thank goodness we are not out of the country right now traveling for court!" and I also thought "I can't imagine this happening in the midst of accepting a referral and scrambling to get all our paperwork together!".... <b>but GOD KNEW! </b>As I was reflecting more on it today, it hit me like a ton of bricks... all the way back at the end of March our agency, much to my surprise, told us that it would be VERY WISE for Joshua to NOT go on his school club sponsored trip this July that he was planning on chaperoning to Ethiopia. They thought there was a good chance that we might already have a referral or that we would be in between trips. After much prayer and conversation we decided to take their advice and Joshua cancelled the trip because he was the one heading it up. We were torn because we truly thought this could be a life changing trip for so many of his students, but we felt like it would be foolish to ignore the strong advice from our agency. That being said, I have to admit that I did say several times, <b>"If we end up in July when that trip was suppose to happen and we don't have a referral, I'm going to be so mad and bitter!"</b> (<i>I know, not very grace-filled, sorry about that!</i>)... So here we sit this week, the week that Joshua was suppose to be in Ethiopia, and we DO NOT have a referral.... but I DO have my husband home and I can't imagine having gone through Tuesday night on my own! But... <b>GOD KNEW!</b> He knew we needed him home! I can't think of any other reason we would have cancelled that trip, but because our agency told us it was important, we did... but <b>GOD KNEW</b> that would be the only way Joshua wouldn't go. He uses His people to accomplish His work. So NO, I'm not mad at our agency that we don't have a referral right now- I'm grateful that God used them to accomplish his plan and that HE is the author of this story, and I am not! I read a blog post earlier in the week that talked about God's "Prevenient Grace"- God working ahead of time for a particular event in the future. I'm so glad we got to experience a glimpse of that this week with God at work all the way back in March, causing us to cancel a trip, for this week so that daddy would be here with us! Good stuff, God stuff! </div>
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Let me leave you with a quick update where we're at in this wait! The unofficial number that we're showing on our list right now is #7, but I've also heard we're #5... either way, it doesn't really matter- we're right where God wants us. We are next in line for a babe over 12 months old but under 18 months... so we could technically skip a couple spots if a child meeting those parameters comes into the care of Hannah's Hope OR we could end up waiting until we're in the #1 spot anyway. There is no way to know! But again, it doesn't really matter, because it'll happen exactly how God wants it to! My heart does skip a beat every time my phone rings between 4pm-5pm because from what I can tell, that is typically the time when others have gotten "the call" for their referral... but I'm doing my best to not be consumed with it. Jude is doing a good job of keeping my mind off it! (o; </div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Until "the call" I rest in the peace that God knows the end (or should I say beginning?) of this story of Isa joining our family! I don't want to take anything into my own hands- His timing is PERFECT! </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0px none ! important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-63522081077922250762012-06-11T22:02:00.000-05:002012-06-11T22:03:13.473-05:00Praying over crazy big possibilities!My sis and I are sitting here at a coffee shop that we decided to bunker down at this morning and knock out some work after we dropped our boys off at their first ever Vacation Bible School. If you're a mama, than I'm sure you can relate... It's about efficiency really, we have a precious three hour child-free window to accomplish as much as possible and there's no use in wasting any of that time driving all the way home and back again. Not to mention, who doesn't love to surround themselves with the aroma of coffee and the company of their sister?!<br />
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So I've decided to start this blog post well aware of the fact I won't come close to finishing it here at the coffee shop given that I only have 15 minutes left out of my 3 hour child-free window (<i>my oh my, where has the time gone?!</i>) But, I figured I would get a head start on writing this because my gut tells me it's gonna be a doozy of a post (<i>you know the kind...where you write a sentence and then delete <b>two</b> sentences because it just doesn't seem to truly convey what is stirring in your heart?!</i>) Well I think this is gonna be one of "those" posts. Why you ask?!<br />
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Well you see, Joshua and I have been praying hard the last three months! We've been praying over crazy big possibilities that have presented themselves to us and we've been seeking His direction on what our response should be to these possibilities! ..... (<i>And here we are folks, 15 minutes is up and I only got this far. My sweet boy needs to be picked up at VBS, BUT I will continue later today as soon as I get home and find some down time. I</i><i> didn't plow through nearly as much of this post as I had hoped, in my head I like to think I'm a super fast speed writer, but in real life... not so much!</i>)<br />
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Okay, I'm back! How was that for a cliff hanger?! Oh yeah, that's right... you didn't have to wait, you get to just keep on reading! Lucky you. (o;<br />
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So, like I said... past three months... been praying hard! You see, back in March we had a conversation with some wonderful friends of ours, <a href="http://growingmcbs.blogspot.com/">The McBride's</a>. You've probably heard me talk about them as I've been blessed with Mitzi's friendship and privileged to see God at work in her family's life over the past 2 1/2 years. I'm beyond thankful to have had a front row seat in watching God clearly answer their prayers and lead their family to Africa to work for <a href="http://growingmcbs.blogspot.com/p/lifesong-zambia.html">Lifesong Zambia</a> almost one year ago this July.<br />
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Let me give you a little history first before I dive in... There are several super cool things about my friendship with Mitzi and it started before I even met her... it's one of those rare moments in life where in hindsight you can see that God clearly meant for two paths to cross! Shortly after Joshua and I made the decision to jump into the unknown world of adoption, when I knew NO ONE else that was adopting or had adopted, when I was desperately praying for a friend that was in this journey too, I had two different people mention to me that we should really meet the McBride family. One of which was the <a href="http://helmshappenings-ethiopia.blogspot.com/2010/05/ups-guy-good-guy-o.html">UPS guy</a> down the street where we printed our very <a href="http://helmshappenings-ethiopia.blogspot.com/p/helms-happenings-ethiopia-edition.html">first letter </a>announcing that we were going to start the adoption process. I figured if the UPS guy thought I should meet the McBride's... maybe God was trying to tell me something!?! So I did what every "normal" person does and "facebook stalked" Mitzi (<i>that's "normal" right?!</i>) Totally to my surprise, as I was looking through her photo albums I noticed that her and Shane were from East Tennessee (<i>which is where Joshua and I met, got married, and lived before moving to Dallas</i>) and both of them had in fact gone to Carson Newman, Tusculum College's main rival (<i>where Joshua went to college</i>)?! Both schools are pretty small Christian colleges that typically no one has ever heard of! What a crazy small world, right?! One thing lead to another and I was in touch with Mitzi and knew right away that she was my kinda gal! Down to earth, loves the Lord, loves Tennessee and good cookin', great mama, and just an easy stress-free friend! Truly, she was an answer to prayer! An added perk was she was a pro when it came to the adoption world! At the time, her and Shane were working for a division of Campus Crusade called Hope for Orphans, they had two bio kids and an adopted son from Ethiopia (<i>Hannah's Hope mind you, where Isa will be from</i>!). So during the paper chase phase of our adoption, whether Mitzi liked it or not, she was my go to gal with questions! And she always patiently walked me through all the nitty gritty details of the endless stack of confusing required documentations. <br />
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Flash forward to February 2011 and Mitzi, Courtney, and I made a road trip to Atlanta together for the Created for Care adoption retreat. My theory is, once you spend 12+ hours in a car with someone, you're either automatically gonna love them or hate them... and I walked away from that road trip and loved both Mitzi and Courtney all the more! I was able to see Christ shine in both of them and I knew that God had blessed me with two amazing, God-fearing, friends who "got me" and made me want to be a better example of Christ in the world. It's not every day you find those kind of people in your life! Mitzi and I shared on that trip that we both thought adoption was just the tip of the iceberg of God's story and we both felt like eventually, in time, we saw our families in Africa. We both had NO IDEA when or how we would get there, we just felt the burden to go. I think we even halfheartedly joked that maybe we'd go to Africa together one day! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzLw5KndvKAhPzKSUSrUwuP-TwTMvAN7lYpqQnc5wUnvna9EcCJtwtVu95JaPZRw2waImrCyUBbqANNH287NhFOWqfF9E1h0VI8HccUC2zfACQlFhoOhT3Qwc922RB3Z-UC-ZgDURv1k/s1600/167587_10150411125615217_6830013_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzLw5KndvKAhPzKSUSrUwuP-TwTMvAN7lYpqQnc5wUnvna9EcCJtwtVu95JaPZRw2waImrCyUBbqANNH287NhFOWqfF9E1h0VI8HccUC2zfACQlFhoOhT3Qwc922RB3Z-UC-ZgDURv1k/s400/167587_10150411125615217_6830013_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Courtney, Mitzi, myself, and Lara at the Created for Care Retreat Feb '11</td></tr>
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Little did Mitzi know that it wouldn't be long <b>at all </b>before God got to work at opening one door after another door for the McBride's to actually be in Africa (<i>we were both thinking we had like a 5 year time frame, ha!</i>)! She had no idea it was going to be that following July that they would pack up and move, but God made it pretty stinking clear that this is when He wanted them to go! I won't get into all the details for the sake of keeping this post from becoming a novel, BUT you can read more about their incredible journey <a href="http://growingmcbs.blogspot.com/2011/04/time-to-get-real.html">HERE</a>! Truly, from an outsiders prospective, it was such a privilege to watch and see them be obedient and faithful to say YES even when it stretched them and even when they didn't have all the answeres! The point of this <i>not so brief history</i> of how God brought the
McBride's into our lives, is so that you know- I truly do believe that
God is in the details. I have no doubt He's weaving together a beautiful
big God-size story through the little every day occurrences in life. Even a casual passing conversation with the UPS guy... Even when we're praying along side of someone else and we have no idea that their story may also be our story too?! (o; <br />
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So, the McBride family courageously moved to Zambia last July and took on the HUGE task of heading up the Lifesong Zambia school. They have made tremendous progress with the educational programs and even more of an impact relationally with the Zambian staff! Currently the Lifesong Zambia School only goes through grade seven BUT they're expanding! You can read all about it <a href="http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/cp/zam/expansion.html">HERE!</a> It's good stuff that makes my heart beat fast and leaves me with a permanent smile on my face! Here's a glimpse into the Lifesong Zambia School, check it out! <br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/16693372" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> <br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/16693372">Zambia November 2010</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user738203">Lifesong for Orphans</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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So that leads me to the <b>exciting and big </b>news that Joshua and I have been laying at God's feet over the last three months! The McBride's approached Joshua and I about the possibility of joining them there in Zambia! With the launch of the high school, they're are in need of an American teacher/leader that is willing to partner with a Zambian teacher/leader to help head up the high school portion of the school! We've skyped a couple times with the McBride's and we've emailed back and forth numerous times over what the job would most likely entail, and truthfully, it sounds like a perfect fit for Joshua! Discipleship and mentoring as well as curriculum development and teaching are right up my man's alley! The fact that the McBride's are already there and blazing the trail for us, brings peace to this mama's soul. The little "contingencies" I let God know about after returning from Uganda about how He would get our family to Africa, are surprisingly all being met with this particular opportunity! Which makes me smile because that's just the way God works! Now, all that being said... this is by no means a done deal! <br />
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The time frame of it all, at this point, is the main thing that is up in the air. You see, this whole possibility panning out, is all really contingent on when we bring Isa home, how he's doing, and how our family is functioning! That's a pretty big unknown, and we totally get that, but it's our number one priority!!! And so we're praying through what that might look like and trusting that the Lord will be clear if this is a step we should take as a family! That being said, so far, we have not hit any red flags or road blocks that scream, "No! This is not meant for your family!" If fact, every time I've been overwhelmed at the thought and begged God for clarity, He has answered in unique ways confirming that we should just keep taking one step forward at a time. I can guarantee one thing and it's that I will continue to plead with God to be a burning bush and speak loud and clear as to what His will is for our family! WE ONLY WANT TO GO WHERE GOD IS LEADING US!<br />
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The reoccurring answer to our prayer is, "<i>Keep taking one step forward at a time unless I tell you to stop</i>". To which we say, "<i>Okay Lord! You've proven to be faithful over and over again throughout this journey! We will trust you!</i>" So you might be wondering what this "next step" is... at this point it appears to be making a trip to Zambia to check it all out for ourselves! After much thought and discussion, the best time for us to make this trip, not to mention the most cost effective way, is for Joshua and I to go to Zambia on our way to Ethiopia when we travel for our first court trip to meet Isa. Of course, at this point, we don't know when that's going to be. BUT it's our game plan as of now! We've talked it over with both our social worker and our agency case worker, and they both agree that the best time to make such a trip is the front end of our first trip. Our prayer is that this visit will help provide clarity if in fact Zambia is where God wants to use us and if we can see our family there. <br />
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Sigh, this does mean that before too long, we're going to have to start what appears to be the never ending process of fundraising again to help cover the cost of the additional leg of the flights for Joshua and I. So my apologies in advance if you're tired of seeing my homemade Africa tee-shirts or whatever other kind of creative little thing I can whip up to help bring in the extra money! I promise I'll do my best to make cute things that you actually want to buy! (o; Please also know that both Joshua and I are taking on any extra work we can to help bring in money! Joshua is actually in Utah right now for the week doing this AP Reader thing that will bring in an additional $1500 that we'll put towards the tickets and he's continuing to mow several yards in our cul-de-sac. I'll put any additional money I'm able to bring in with photography and dog sitting toward it as well! I don't have a set amount at this time that I know the airfare is going to cost us because I just don't know exactly when we'll be traveling- so my game plan is just to try and build up a cushion in our adoption savings account and trust that it'll be what we need to cover the flights! <br />
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Deep breath, okay so this whole thing is just so much bigger than us, and I get overwhelmed & humbled every time I think that God would use plain ole' Joshua and Hilary as a part of such an amazing story! Even if this entire thing doesn't pan out the way we think it might and His plans are something totally different, I'm cool with that, I'm just privileged to be used in whatever capacity! All I know is that I want to be obedient and keep taking one step forward at a time unless He tells us to stop. And so we'd ask that you too would pray for us... That we would be keenly aware of God's direction and agenda, that we would have the courage to get uncomfortable when we need to, that God would prepare our family for whatever lies ahead, that God would bring Isa home in just His perfect timing and that we would know without a shadow of a doubt what the best thing to do for our family is! We are beyond grateful for your prayers and support, thank you!<br />
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I'm excited to wait and see how this whole things unfolds! God sure does write the best stories! (o; <br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0px none ! important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-7804132091955218662012-05-22T15:56:00.000-05:002012-05-22T16:03:28.796-05:00Fear fades as faith deepens<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A happy ending to an eventful canoe trip! </td></tr>
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Ask any mama and I'm confident they'll tell you there is nothing worse than being gripped with fear for your child's well being- whether it's because they're sick, hurt, or there has been a life-threatening accident. For real, I can't think of a single thing that can knock the wind out of me more than when I'm concerned for Jude's health or safety! Within each us there is this crazy little voice that whispers worse case scenarios to our souls and if this voice is given enough attention, the fear can spiral itself out of control. In the book, Protecting the Gift, Gavin de Becker says in regard to
parental worry, that “preparedness is a funny thing: there’s only so
much of it a soul can stand because the problem with bracing for the
worst is you have to imagine it first!” How true is that?! </div>
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That brings me to our canoe "adventure" from this past weekend! (o; Overall, we had an incredible weekend camping with <a href="http://www.afaithfulnesstold.blogspot.com/">Matthew and Courtney</a> at the beautiful Beavers Bend State Park in Oklahoma! It refreshed our
spirits to be in the outdoors and be in the midst of great company! Let me first preface this whole story by saying that in the grand scheme of things, our little canoe mishap this weekend, is exactly that... little. Especially given that some of you reading this have truly experienced close calls, heartache, and loss on levels that I can't even begin to imagine. More than anything, I'm just trying to process through all the thoughts that have been triggered because of this situation- and writing helps me do that. </div>
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On Friday, we all decided we would hit up the local canoe and kayak rental company and it would be fun to take a trip down the river. Matthew and Courtney would take the kayaks and Joshua, Jude, and I would take a canoe. It made sense- the canoe fit the three of us in one boat and the kayaks were intended to be for only one person. We decided to sit Jude in the middle of the canoe on the floor of it, and he tucked his legs under the wooden bar that went from one side of the boat to the other. I was sitting up front on the seat and Joshua took the back seat. We were excited and set to go as we pushed off the sandy bank. And we were off down the river... well... kinda... Joshua and I quickly realized that our communication skills for directing this stupid boat were, let's just say.... lacking! Given the fact that I think Joshua and I both sort of pride ourselves on being outdoorsy and river savvy, the tension between the two of us was a bit high as I swear I was paddling on the correct side and so does Joshua- YET our boat wasn't listening! Let's just blame it on the boat for the sake of having <i>something</i> to blame our poor steering skills on! (o; My friend Sunny refers to these boats as "divorce canoe's".... and I think she is spot on! It was like steering a giant log down the river. </div>
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Well, ready or not, our first set of rapids was approaching! Somehow we managed to bang our way off the rocks, no doubt looking like the most ungraceful paddlers ever! But I thought to myself, "<i>Okay, we got this- we made it through that without tipping, we're good to go!</i>" Joshua and I continued to work on our communication skills (<i>or lack there of</i>) before the next set of rapids that were around the bend of the river. I'd love to tell you how much we improved, BUT... not so much! (<i>Seriously, per-marital counseling should require canoe paddling-101!</i>) I'm trying to scope out the rocks we're approaching so we can have a game plan on how to weave our way around them through the rapids. Much to my demise, it quickly became apparent as we got closer and closer... there was NO WAY to make it through this rapid without hitting the rocks, the canoe just wasn't able to cut and maneuver around them all. So before we new it, we were turned sideways pinned up against a giant rock. It caused us to loose our balance and shift our weight where the current quickly caught the lip of the canoe and immediately started pouring water into our boat. Joshua and I both fell out and I quickly was trying to get myself in position to grab Jude, knowing that he would be scared. He has never been in white water before, only pools and lakes, so this is a whole new thing to him. He had his life jacket on, so I wasn't so much concerned about him going under, as I was about him just getting too far downstream without me. </div>
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Well... turns out, Jude didn't fall out of the canoe like Joshua and I did- instead he was pinned IN the canoe, because his body was wedged under the wooden bar that he was sitting under and the current was pushing him up against the bar while the boat was engulfed with water and sinking! Thankfully, Joshua and I were both able to put our feet down in the rushing water and stop ourselves from going down river. (<i>The "lifeguard swift water safety side of me" wants to chime in here and say that typically one should NEVER put your feet down in white water because of foot entrapment- but given our predicament, it was necessary- but normally, not a smart move!</i> <i>The water was about chest deep on me, and the rapid itself was <b>maybe</b> a class ONE, if that- so nothing crazy at all! BUT rushing water is such a powerful thing, and should never be underestimated!</i>) So... Jude's huge eyes are locked in on me and he's totally in panic mode. I'm holding the canoe on it's side so that it doesn't completely flip over with Jude inside it and I look up at Joshua with that intense look of, "<i>You better get our boy out of there NOW!</i>" Joshua quickly grabs the shoulders of Jude's life jacket and yanks as hard as he can against the current to pull him back up to the surface and into his arms! The relief that flooded my heart once Jude was out of the boat is like none other! Don't get me wrong, we were still in quite the predicament, standing in the middle of the river, with a canoe completely submerged, my paddle down river somewhere along with my shoes, and grasping for Joshua's bag that had our video camera and some clothes in it. BUT at that point, I didn't care about anything else besides the fact that our boy was out of the boat and in our arms! Joshua handed Jude over to me while he tried to hang onto the nose of the canoe that was the only portion of the boat still above water, so that it didn't go down the river without us. Jude is crying, scared and cold, shaking in my arms with the water rushing around us. I can't pick my feet up and try and walk to the edge because the current is too strong and it'll sweep me off my feet, so I'm "stuck" in a sense and Joshua and I are looking at each other like "<i>Now what</i>?!" It's right about this time that I spotted Matthew who was able to paddle his kayak upriver to us and help out- which I'm seriously so grateful for, because I don't know what we would have done if he wasn't with us! Matthew and I were able to carefully put my shaken up child on the nose of his kayak for him to take to safety. Joshua and I were then able to figure out our game plan for pulling our stupid canoe up on the same stupid rock (<i>can you tell I'm a fan of the canoe and the rock?!</i>) that had flipped us in order to empty it out. Meanwhile, little did I know that Courtney had managed to go downriver and snag my paddle and both my flip flops! What a gal! </div>
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After we got the canoe pulled back to the surface and emptied out, we made our way over to the boulder on the side of the river where Matthew had safely sat Jude and told him to stay put. It was one of those moments as a parent where the image of your frightened child breaks your heart. Jude had his knees curled up to his chest shaking, cold, and crying. I quickly realized that our parenting skills needed to step it up a level because we now had to somehow convince our child <b>to get back in</b> the boat and go another <b>3 hours</b> down the river all the while validating his fears. No pressure! I just kept thinking to myself, "<i>Don't jack this up Hil, this could be a defining moment in Jude's life where he either thinks we helped him overcome his fears OR we traumatized the poor kid for life!</i>" Matthew suggested that we switch up boats and try putting Jude in one of our laps on the kayak. It sounded like a GREAT idea to me considering I wanted to chuck this darn canoe on the river bank and kick it a few times! So we traded boats and Jude reluctantly climbed into daddy's lap in the kayak to continue down the river. Daddy and Jude spent a lot of time praying for courage and safety while riding in that kayak- and despite a little detour where Jude and I got out to hike around one last rapid, Jude recovered and ended up having a great time on the lower half of the river! Answered prayers for sure, as I was envisioning a LONG day of fearful crying! </div>
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That brings me to today- several days later and images of my sweet son's fear-filled eyes staring up at me while the canoe filled with water still flash in my mind. I hate it. It sucks the life right out of me. I'm not one to freak out during an emergency, it's actually ingrained in me to <i>want </i>to run <i>to</i> an emergency and respond with all my years a lifeguard trainer- BUT it's afterwards when I'm processing the whole thing, it tears me up. The "what ifs" haunt me as I play through every scenario. It goes back to the quote, “preparedness is a funny thing: there’s only so
much of it a soul can stand because the problem with bracing for the
worst is you have to imagine it first!” </div>
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That being said, I am continually reminded that Jude is not my own- God is gracious enough to let me borrow him for his time on earth. This brings peace to my unsettled mama's heart. Yes, life is fleeting and things can drastically change in the blink of an eye but I also have also been reminded that fear fades as my faith deepens. I pray that God continues to wipe away the "what ifs" from my mind and instead fills my thoughts with His faithfulness and goodness. God protected precious Jude that day on the river and I am forever grateful! Gosh I love this kid! </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QAWRLEvs4MDkLav_xPiQ0u3xxSSyUGAEhAVfsq1RpI_6DfK5wBotS_oQXuBn4fEI52k13ulGxl9Fs9ibRbie7FbkKxTIIiGFSi3hoOUGukgMs9nMC0L21lqELLJAOItbFqqLfGI91Cs/s1600/576927_10151776735060217_659385216_24333297_1084051669_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QAWRLEvs4MDkLav_xPiQ0u3xxSSyUGAEhAVfsq1RpI_6DfK5wBotS_oQXuBn4fEI52k13ulGxl9Fs9ibRbie7FbkKxTIIiGFSi3hoOUGukgMs9nMC0L21lqELLJAOItbFqqLfGI91Cs/s640/576927_10151776735060217_659385216_24333297_1084051669_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nice calm water = Happy Jude (o; </td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-11306345387280961612012-05-11T23:53:00.001-05:002012-05-11T23:54:50.005-05:00Respond to the Call not the NEED<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Earlier this week I was reading a fellow
adopting mama's blog post and was scrolling through the long list of
comments made below it. I came across a comment that caught my eye by
a women who's opinion I truly respect, <a href="http://hopeathomeblog.blogspot.com/">Beth Templeton</a>.
You may or may not have ever heard of her, but I had the privilege of
hearing her speak at the Created for Care retreat that I went to back in
Feb 2011. She has an incredible testimony and offers much wisdom when
it comes to world of adoption! In her response to this particular post,
she offered such truth, that I find it keeps coming to mind over and
over again the past couple days. Here is a what she said that has
captured my thoughts...</div>
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"The key is responding to the Call, not to
the need. Jesus always and only responded to what he saw his heavenly
Father doing and what he heard His Father saying, and never to the need
or the expectations of others. It's fascinating to read through the
Gospels and see his actions from this perspective. It seems to me that
the many families I have had contact with who have experienced
destruction of their marriage or family structure as a result of
adoption often adopted out of a sense of pressure that this is what they
should do as good Christians, or in response to a very enthusiastic
advocate who they respected. That does not give a strong enough
foundation to deal with some of the extreme issues that many adopted
children face, many not until they reach their teen years. I think it is
important for people to be always encouraged to hear from God and not
to overstep, so to speak, their level of faith. And if there is
disagreement within the marriage about it, moving forward only with the
revelation of the most conservative perspective. In our advocacy for
special needs or older children (we adopted our 4 from Russia at 5, 7,
10 and 10), it is important that we don't encourage people to live out
of our own faith or experience. Our role can be one of strengthening
faith in this amazing God, so that others can then look to Him and hear
what He is telling them-- possibly to step out of an already shattered
comfort zone (as most people who are considering adoption have!) into
another level of believing Him."</div>
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<span id="bc_0_39b+seedGy--D" kind="d"><br />
</span></div>
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<span id="bc_0_39b+seedGy--D" kind="d">I LOVE this... respond to the CALL <i>not </i>to
the NEED! How awesome is it that God has designed each one of us so
uniquely different in order to accomplish His purposes AND that because
He calls each of us to a different story- if we say YES, we are
privileged to play a role in the most beautiful script ever written,
specifically designed just for us?! Our distinct personalities, our God
given passions, the way we are wired-they all play a role in what God
has called us to do! </span><span id="bc_0_39b+seedGy--D" kind="d"></span><span id="bc_0_39b+seedGy--D" kind="d"> </span></div>
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<span id="bc_0_39b+seedGy--D" kind="d">I
can say with confidence that God's call for our family has been to
pursue an international adoption of a baby boy, our Isa... we didn't
conjure up the idea of adoption on our own, God flipped our world "right
side up" (<i>as my hubby says</i>) with the unexpected burden to adopt.
We've had no agenda of our own this entire time, which has left us
begging for God's direction and clinging to His lead! Honestly, there
have been more times than not where it would have just been easier to
take matters into our own hands and walk away from the whole thing, or
change our parameters, or pursue an entirely different route- after all,
two years into this process is WAY LONGER than we ever thought it would
be! The thing is though, God continues to confirm that we are <i>exactly</i> where He wants us to be (<i>maybe not always where <b>we</b> want to be</i>)
but exactly where HE wants us! And so we stay put until HE tells us to
move. My sweet friend Nancy Powell reminded me a couple weeks ago when I
was discouraged to, "consider it a privilege that God thinks our story
is worth the wait!" (<i>thanks for reminding me of that Nancy!</i>) His
purposes are far greater than I can comprehend, He is working in facets I
can't see, and my responsibility isn't to meet the need of the orphan
crisis... it's to be obedient in responding to the call that He has so
clearly placed before our family and to glorify Him in the process!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span id="bc_0_39b+seedGy--D" kind="d">And so we continue to do our best to respond to the CALL <i>(even when we're tired and wish His time frame was different than our own</i>!) (o; </span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-58987531984425005972012-05-10T15:40:00.002-05:002012-05-10T15:40:44.859-05:00Feeling yucky = Quality time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8jh6PmLriLHxHAPoJ4UUBmKDXaHh0PTaIbNZKhtT0gaqTpA8WnKqs0FI8Fi3hJmh8JUA-r5Jh2gTzRUZHZF9Hke-25XvmyYgB95DIULU9b1-vCjmaZBSlQMjhljhYAetLUzU3rUQx4kQ/s1600/528524_10151728527590217_659385216_24162127_1205088897_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8jh6PmLriLHxHAPoJ4UUBmKDXaHh0PTaIbNZKhtT0gaqTpA8WnKqs0FI8Fi3hJmh8JUA-r5Jh2gTzRUZHZF9Hke-25XvmyYgB95DIULU9b1-vCjmaZBSlQMjhljhYAetLUzU3rUQx4kQ/s640/528524_10151728527590217_659385216_24162127_1205088897_n.jpg" width="640" /> </a></div>
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Jude man and I are feeling under the weather today (<i>I seriously sound like I smoke 10 packs a day with my raspy voice! Uhm yeah, I thought raspy was suppose to sound sexy?! Well, not so much... I don't!</i>). Boo! As a result, the two of us have been taking it easy all day and watching movies cuddling in our comfy clothes (<i>AKA... pajamas</i>). Yay for a <i>forced</i> lazy day! Today has got me thinking... it's sort of a sad that it takes me feeling yucky in order to let the house go, the to do list slide, the errands be put on hold... in order for me to spend some downtime hanging with my little man! Lord, help me be <i>intentional</i> in the quality time I spend with Jude. When he was a baby, this intentional time was frankly a heck of a lot easier! He depended on me for everything- being fed every meal, rocked to sleep every 3 hours, a diaper change countless times a day, you get the idea. But as he's gotten older his independence has resulted in me not being <i>needed</i> as much. Or should I say, not <i>feeling</i> needed as much. Today I'm reminded that I am in fact still very needed- it just looks different! To Jude, it's all about my company and undivided attention that he needs these days. Seriously, he has looked at me today at least four times, snuggled up extra close, starred me in the eyes and said, "This is great mama! I love you!". The kicker is, I really DO spend quite a bit of time with him- but what I'm realizing is, it's often spent multitasking. I'm an awesome mom when it comes to chillin' out with Jude, watching him play in the living room floor... while I fold laundry. Oooh, I might even get an award for mom of the year for my stellar ability to watch him ride his bike.... while socializing with other mom's in the cul-de-sac! (<i>Catch the sarcasm!</i>) The reality is, neither one of those mom multitasking moments are wrong... it's just that they are more common than not! Truth be told, I don't <b>regularly</b> go out of my way to put the laundry down, get down on the living room floor and actually play with Jude nor do I <b>regularly</b> take him to a park where he has my undivided attention and play with him. I'm challenging myself to make those moments more frequent than not... especially before Isa joins our family and I'll have to be all the more deliberate with my one on one time! </div>
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So I guess I'm grateful for a sick day where I'm left realizing that I'll always be asking for God's wisdom in how to best use my time! </div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-15040460475482226382012-05-08T12:14:00.002-05:002012-05-08T12:14:20.852-05:00BUSY as a bee! Photo re-cap...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPLFIGWqfVQAY6eD0QITXtnTwUCOmHZ8YLhlncEE7Tl5Vg2lOgfg5_qX18dnhrEdVehb5-Mx9wZJ6l_VgmnYgQdsAFbSehH0Dem5z_pC-sE7FSTk0Nb46z8FC6UMA-4uiJovnGkkkWoRo/s1600/blog--april-wait-list-number.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPLFIGWqfVQAY6eD0QITXtnTwUCOmHZ8YLhlncEE7Tl5Vg2lOgfg5_qX18dnhrEdVehb5-Mx9wZJ6l_VgmnYgQdsAFbSehH0Dem5z_pC-sE7FSTk0Nb46z8FC6UMA-4uiJovnGkkkWoRo/s640/blog--april-wait-list-number.jpg" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our official April boys wait list number was #12! And in fact I know that another referral has since gone out of a baby boy, so we are actually unofficially #11! Oh how I can't wait to be in the single digits! We're now done with updating our home study and we've sent off all the important paperwork to our agency and the USCIS office... I'm glad to have that all done and off my shoulders! After much prayer we decided to change our parameters from 0-12 months old to 0-<b>18</b> months old. With the age difference continuing to grow between Isa and Jude we found ourselves hoping for a bit "older" of a referral, meaning closer to a 12 month old. I have no idea how old our little dude will be when we get our referral, but Joshua and I are totally cool with skipping the newborn stage (<i>well the sleepless nights really</i>,<i> ha!</i>)... no matter his age, all I know is that we're gonna love him like crazy! </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0fvoFnYWR4u9EXpnY4UiHmAQVr9L17hp7Yzg0jgMct-mm6uUz-6V6awT765rKBqLtoWba_3rFj5mihqkaBU3ljeX-QxLTIzz9hcrttIzNbK7-ou9p8Q0yj_8JCcmjwMAFAO9LtuJcqHE/s1600/546454_10151456042995217_659385216_23488852_883911554_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0fvoFnYWR4u9EXpnY4UiHmAQVr9L17hp7Yzg0jgMct-mm6uUz-6V6awT765rKBqLtoWba_3rFj5mihqkaBU3ljeX-QxLTIzz9hcrttIzNbK7-ou9p8Q0yj_8JCcmjwMAFAO9LtuJcqHE/s640/546454_10151456042995217_659385216_23488852_883911554_n.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmGmoksOJLA7y1FJMJdlNzzxrLYJz7-nI0PHKqZNg-EwvOyIxpxcDK1zD16pjMjHlR6Mk9_VL2a89NiA34xwZIKNBZlbwVpdtmUIwo8HlHBU0DB-FsgftRV8xtuObQL0h3Tw4GaUXkCG8/s1600/543285_10151537337790217_659385216_23820471_1946720371_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmGmoksOJLA7y1FJMJdlNzzxrLYJz7-nI0PHKqZNg-EwvOyIxpxcDK1zD16pjMjHlR6Mk9_VL2a89NiA34xwZIKNBZlbwVpdtmUIwo8HlHBU0DB-FsgftRV8xtuObQL0h3Tw4GaUXkCG8/s640/543285_10151537337790217_659385216_23820471_1946720371_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We've been working hard on Isa's room! Slowly but surely it's coming together! His crib was made with love by his Uncle James and I've manage to whip up some homemade things as well! I made his crib bumper and valance out of material I got while in Africa back in February. We got his dresser on sale at IKEA the other day and painted it to match his crib. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIWX8suKmfsWiS_TZIFWpGkRp1IfBCu6xBRVQsQ0BZObgH4t0txaYXEzunKJCVi8Y1hV-AexmaTXd94GKZcxR_hc0bPydr08H5xT1vJYVqwP3Pclwg5vF-zUOALhUHpyPg7jeR4C22seY/s1600/582148_10151585162060217_659385216_23926444_120473293_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span id="goog_1633726244"></span><span id="goog_1633726245"></span><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIWX8suKmfsWiS_TZIFWpGkRp1IfBCu6xBRVQsQ0BZObgH4t0txaYXEzunKJCVi8Y1hV-AexmaTXd94GKZcxR_hc0bPydr08H5xT1vJYVqwP3Pclwg5vF-zUOALhUHpyPg7jeR4C22seY/s640/582148_10151585162060217_659385216_23926444_120473293_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our church had an awesome<a href="http://prestontrail.org/preston-trail-blog/the-one-more-life-gala/"> One More Life Gala</a> on it's new property where the new building will soon be built! Joshua and I are both grateful to be invested in a church where no perfect people are allowed where it's mission is "<strong>We exist to give our lives to help people find and follow Jesus Christ". If you live near me and are looking for a home church, please know the invitation is always there for you to join us anytime! </strong></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The handsome "coach" and I before heading out to his soccer banquet. His soccer season has finished up and now I get my hubby back in the evenings! I'm a happy wife! (o; </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We celebrated our kiddo's 5th birthday, camp out style! Lots of prep work and love went into this party! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAuX9E2SMhcXOtl_lmXZKxJvHunr_rYRIYbowa9wwo94c9SnUXnd31isRog2DBsft2OtCBniBGErucJpD0Erpa7F_2taDPdhP5BEt6eAEFiDJ6rfGGX1eeEFRLyU6N-ZYcPI0dyjTideg/s1600/529711_10151714214425217_659385216_24114344_1258735786_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAuX9E2SMhcXOtl_lmXZKxJvHunr_rYRIYbowa9wwo94c9SnUXnd31isRog2DBsft2OtCBniBGErucJpD0Erpa7F_2taDPdhP5BEt6eAEFiDJ6rfGGX1eeEFRLyU6N-ZYcPI0dyjTideg/s640/529711_10151714214425217_659385216_24114344_1258735786_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Camp Jude was a success! He invited his closest little buddies over for a fun backyard camp themed party! We had hotdogs, s'mores, campfire songs, and a backyard movie to end the night! It was such fun!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A handsome bunch of boys! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grams came into town from Atlanta! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some quality evening family time has been had! Crazy boys! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I've been snagging any free cuddles I can get from my big 5 year old these days! He's growing up so fast and I know that inevitably when Isa gets home the dynamics of our family will change (<i>which if I'm being honest, I'm a little sad about- but I trust that God will give me enough love to go around!</i>). This leaves me soaking in my evening routine with Jude in bed, laying there a little longer than normal and chatting about his day and doing my best to intentionally make quality time throughout the day with him! </td></tr>
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Well, there you have it! This is just a glimpse into the busyness that has resulted in why my blogging skills stink lately! All good things though- memory building things- quality things! I'm one grateful mama! </div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-28442245763311546772012-04-19T15:33:00.001-05:002012-04-19T15:35:18.811-05:00Keep on Singing Earlier this week, I had the privilege of attending a <a href="http://leadnet.org//about/page/mission">Leadership Network</a> <a href="http://leadnet.org/programs/leadership-communities">Missional Renaissance</a> workshop with several amazing individuals from our <a href="http://www.prestontrail.org/connect/compassion/">Compassion Ministry at church.</a> The premise of the workshop was to gather like-minded church and community leaders that had a passion and heart for meeting the needs of the vulnerable and collaborate on ways we can wrap around the hopeless and restore hope. Our church's vision is to go beyond the church walls and into the community to live out the gospel and be the hands and feet of Jesus to those who may otherwise never step foot in our building. I could go on and on about all the goodness I soaked in over the two days we were there, but for now, I just wanted to share a video that they showed us there that I thought was so stinking powerful! This may just be one of the coolest things I've ever seen- I think you'll agree! Check it out! <br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2NENlXsW4pM" width="560"></iframe></a><br />
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After we watched this video, the leaders asked the entire group what our thoughts were, and as people shared, very true points were touched on. One person shared how this video really revealed the importance of community and how everyone longs to be a part of something bigger than themselves. Another shared that clearly technology is powerful and can touch lives all around the world and bring people together (<i>I can testify to that just since blogging!</i>). Another shared how it was so cool that before the conductor started this huge project, he didn't know how it was all going to come together, but he stepped out in faith anyway and trusted it would all fall into place at just the right time, and it did! But it was what the last person shared that stuck with me most- here's my spin on what was said... <br />
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It's like God is the conductor over this entire world, orchestrating an absolutely beautiful song with each of our individual lives. He's inviting us to sing in His choir and be a part of the most incredible music piece to ever be written. What a privilege it is to be asked to join in!<br />
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So that has me thinking... Here I am, with Joshua and Jude, and we're singing this little song over here in North Texas, sometimes we're off pitch, and sometimes we don't sing as loud as we should, and other times we're singing the wrong part all together! And I can't help but think that there's another song in Ethiopia being sung right now, and that Isa and his birth mom are singing their hearts out this very moment- and they may not feel like it's even loud enough to be heard... but it is! God hears them! God hears us! And the best part is, He's orchestrating our voices together just perfectly so that it makes a beautiful song! And the reality is, this music piece is far bigger than just our voices... it includes so many of YOURS as well! Thank you for joining in singing with us!<br />
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So today, and every day, I'm choosing to trust that a beautiful song is being written, even when my part doesn't always sound too hot, and I just need to keep on singing! What an honor it is to be a part of something far bigger than myself! Make my song beautiful Lord and thank you for orchestrating it all so well!Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-57527284940757096252012-04-09T20:15:00.000-05:002012-04-09T20:15:06.597-05:00Begging for HIS PLAN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZEyQWG4sNqviPBM57joLj9cqEEnVcl5Ax6a94vVqpAHFLBA53fFtazQW39YcGkgWj8hfvSndbLCJ7FcRCmJ43BLqY0kNxPoyIwYewc-GLh_sqEOmP8loxzT-eSglNe6Ut0TxGugmykAY/s1600/422682_10151428886710217_659385216_23374902_527998566_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZEyQWG4sNqviPBM57joLj9cqEEnVcl5Ax6a94vVqpAHFLBA53fFtazQW39YcGkgWj8hfvSndbLCJ7FcRCmJ43BLqY0kNxPoyIwYewc-GLh_sqEOmP8loxzT-eSglNe6Ut0TxGugmykAY/s640/422682_10151428886710217_659385216_23374902_527998566_n.jpg" width="640" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As many of you know, the burden to GO (<i>literally move our family</i>) to Africa has been heavy on our hearts for over a year now. Both Joshua and I expected that our trips (<i>in July for Joshua and February for </i><i>me</i>) to Uganda were just another piece to the puzzle of God equipping and preparing us for what is to come, whatever that may be. I think Joshua was anxiously waiting for me to get back from my trip to see if my experience there was similar to his. He came home pretty stinkin' sure that he could see our family in Africa. He most definitely didn't have all the answers to <b>how</b> and <b>when</b> we would get there- but no doubt Africa captured his heart and the desire to GO was only strengthened. I've always said to Joshua that he leads our family and if he came home tomorrow and told me, "<i>Hil... we're moving to Africa this week, I know it's where the Lord wants us!</i>".... that I'd go, I wholeheartedly trust him! He seeks the Lord's guidance for our family and I couldn't have more confidence in his willingness to say YES to whatever God asks of him! And here's the deal... if my man is seeking God's story for our family, than I'm 100% behind him! For this, I'm beyond grateful, what a blessing it is to have a husband that is the spiritual leader of our family! Now that being said, while I'm pretty sure the hubs appreciates my vote of confidence in his ability to hear the Lord so clearly, he also let me in on the fact that it would make him feel <strike style="color: black;">a tad</strike> a heck of a lot better if I experienced Africa for myself just to confirm that I too felt the Lord tugging our family in that direction after having been there. Fair enough! I'm also grateful for a hubby who desires to make sure I'll be a happy mama and not get to Africa one day and say, "What?! Why in the world did you bring our family here?! I hate it!"- I think that would truly be his worst nightmare! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Keeping all that in mind, inevitably my experience in Uganda was captured through a filter of "<i>Can I see our family living here?</i>" I most definitely took advantage of every opportunity to talk with any "non-Ugandan's" (<i>is that a word?! I would say American's but I spoke with a gal from Holland too, so I can't lump her into the American category?!</i>) who already live there to pick their brain for what Africa life is like from their perspective! Thank you <a href="http://www.sixtyfeet.org/2012/03/28/promise-of-hope-kelsey-and-kirby/">Kirby (<i>with Sixty Feet</i>)</a>, <a href="http://www.servinghischildren.org/SHC_Site/Our_Story.html">Danielle and Renee (<i>with Serving His Children</i>)</a>, and <a href="http://www.kampiringisa.org/Kampiringisa.html">Mariska (<i>Yep, you guessed it, the gal from Holland with Food Step</i>)</a> for your gracious spirits and precious time you were willing to give me in answering my plethora of questions! Our conversations meant more to me than you probably will ever know! What amazed me most as I spoke with each of these ladies, was how God so clearly was woven into how they ended up in Uganda. Each of them with a very different story of how they <b>got</b> there and each of them with a very different story of how God is <b>using</b> them there! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But here is where I have to be honest and say as I spoke with Kirby, Danielle, Renee, and Mariksa, </div>I thought to myself, "There is NO WAY I could do what they do! I would emotionally break down and be a crappy mom and wife if I did what they do on a daily basis! I'm not as strong as them, or smart as them, or brave as them, or as faithful as them! How in the world are you going to get my family to Africa God?!?!?"<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's funny how in hindsight it can seem so clear that God was trying to teach me an obvious lesson, yet I totally missed it! I remember thinking to myself that each of their stories were so uniquely different from each other, BUT how I assumed for some reason that my story was going to look like one of theirs! And I was overwhelmed at the thought of trying to put myself into their shoes, because their shoes seemed to fit them perfectly, but be way too big for me to fill! I missed the point... God was showing me how all their stories were so different from each other so that I would realize my story would be different too! He would write it, I didn't have to figure it out! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It wasn't until I got home from my trip and I was sharing this thought with my sweet (<i>and very wise</i>) friend <a href="http://www.afaithfulnesstold.blogspot.com/">Courtney</a>, and she gently reminded me, that of course I couldn't do what they do! I'm NOT them! God wired <i>them</i> specifically for their role! He didn't wire <i>me</i> for<i> their </i>purposes... God's story for each of our lives looks totally different! As she shared that simple truth with me, it was as if a weight was lifted from my chest, and God's lesson He had tried to reveal earlier to "slow to catch on Hilary" was all the sudden so clear! God's plan for my life is custom made to suit my personality and the way He created me so that He can shine through me best. His plan enables me to be the wife and mother He longs for me to be! God's story is tailor made for our family so that Joshua and Jude (and Isa too!) will be used by God for far greater things than I can imagine! Does that mean life is always going to be easy?! Absolutely not! Does that mean that I won't ever have to step outside my comfort zone?! I wish, but NO! BUT, what it does mean is that I don't have to figure it all out.... <b>all I have to do is be available!</b> What it does mean is that I can trust God's agenda and plan, and I don't have to come up with it on my own. God will pave the way to our own unique story of how He gets our family to Africa! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Can I just tell you what a relief it is to hand this one over to God?! If I learned one thing for sure while in Uganda, it's that life is hard there. I am confident that when we move to Africa, however God gets us there, we will face heartache, we will face poverty, we will face injustice, we will face brokenness... and we'll only be able to face all of this by God's strength, clinging to the hope found in His goodness and trusting that we are in HIS will! The reality is, it's gonna be hard. So... that leaves me on my knees begging for HIS PLAN, HIS AGENDA, HIS STORY, HIS WAY, HIS DESIRES... because I don't want to live my life outside of HIS PURPOSES! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Like Joshua, I too came home from Uganda certain that God was in fact preparing our family for Africa. I have no idea when or how we'll get there- but I'm learning that's okay! It leaves the door open for God to reveal His path and not let mine get in the way! I have more peace about that now than ever before. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Rest assured, we are seeking God's wisdom and discernment for our family and we're trusting that He will be clear! We will be faithful to GO and FOLLOW when He opens the door! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm9t3-1AND79WvsQbdbgCLka_D2bVFSdTYGOcdNMn_88Dfw8pBiajgV31oyv-84SrFfaFco1zlVEtAPrCJEWsF-vfMNmXqPL0WIyVn306ND2HaHDOv4rme0uvrBccdDnaqgzWKno3MxIU/s1600/429946_10151428913270217_659385216_23375029_888890931_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm9t3-1AND79WvsQbdbgCLka_D2bVFSdTYGOcdNMn_88Dfw8pBiajgV31oyv-84SrFfaFco1zlVEtAPrCJEWsF-vfMNmXqPL0WIyVn306ND2HaHDOv4rme0uvrBccdDnaqgzWKno3MxIU/s640/429946_10151428913270217_659385216_23375029_888890931_n.jpg" width="640" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-92125546085055499032012-04-04T17:41:00.002-05:002012-04-04T17:49:05.778-05:00Lean Not On Your Own Understanding....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXOQHY7XLpX4HHYgqkko7AOMyPbny7wJ-Dud3PIudi5Z-Ii7qEiGS3BFy2FDf2CIWGEKkJlBAdUIR9tqB33rw3dJWrnDYnVfXEpNEAtNjC3k43Ro5VXtTlxRfdb-A6OGL8Hiz2c55h8pg/s1600/548562_10151471911775217_659385216_23549152_1483506541_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXOQHY7XLpX4HHYgqkko7AOMyPbny7wJ-Dud3PIudi5Z-Ii7qEiGS3BFy2FDf2CIWGEKkJlBAdUIR9tqB33rw3dJWrnDYnVfXEpNEAtNjC3k43Ro5VXtTlxRfdb-A6OGL8Hiz2c55h8pg/s640/548562_10151471911775217_659385216_23549152_1483506541_n.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Proverbs 3:5 " Trust in the Lord with all your heart, <b>and lean not on your own understanding</b>...."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I don't know about you, but sometimes my emotions can be all over the place, crazy! Like my crazy face child here! (<i>That's seriously the only tie in I have to the photo above, I look at it and I think "cRaZY"... and when I think of trusting my emotions at times, I think "cRaZY"!</i>) </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There was a particular day (<i>the conference portion</i>) while we were in Uganda that my emotions just about got the best of me! They may have <i>entirely</i> gotten the best of me, but for the sake of sounding like I can keep it together- we'll go with " just about". It was one of those days where if it COULD go wrong, it WOULD go wrong. There were unforeseen challenges with the language barrier, the cultural gap, and the teaching environment that all seemed to pile on top of each other and leave me feeling as if I could curl up on the ground in the fetal position and just have a good ole' ugly cry. All that I had planned and prepared for (<i>not to mention, poured my heart into</i>), for the lesson I was teaching, seemed to have been a complete and total flop! We returned to the Guest House that night and I was completely consumed with my emotions of defeat. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Right about now, you might be thinking to yourself, "<i>Wow, what a downer of a story Hil, thanks for sharing!</i>"... but hang tight, here's where it gets good, here's where God gets to work.... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">That night at our team debrief I was barely able to keep it together. Knowing my turn to share was nearing, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as we went around the dinner table one by one rehashing the day. It was no secret that all of us ladies on the team were exhausted, discouraged, and done for. The men on the other hand had had a really encouraging day and felt like they had made some serious progress with the pastors they were teaching, and for them, the day was a huge success. Can I just say, to a personality type like mine, where normally I'm the "cheery one", it <b>sucks</b> to be the Debby Downer of the day! But here's where the character of our team shines. Here were our men, who were on a high from the day (<i>rightfully so</i>) and they quickly realized and were sensitive to the fact that the day for us ladies was anything but a high... <i>and so they listened</i>. I know, simple, right?! They genuinely empathized with us- and they selflessly listened. The beauty of the body of Christ right there. So to the gents on the trip, Jason, Paul, Jeff, Brett, and Shawn... THANK YOU for wrapping around us with a listening ear, gentle words, and prayers of encouragement. It meant more than you know and you represented Christ's love so well! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I walked away from our time of debrief grateful for God putting together such an amazing team- yet I still longed to just talk to my husband! I missed him so much on this trip and it was truly hard to experience such emotional highs and lows without him by my side! So you can imagine my frustration when I couldn't get Skype up and running that night to chat with him and was only able to type a couple sentences on facebook to let him know it was a crap day and I desperately needed his prayers. I chalked it up as one more frustrating thing to add to the day and decided to call it quits and go to bed before it got any worse. Surprisingly, I fell asleep crazy fast that night, I'm sure being wore out on all levels played a factor into my unconsciousness! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As I woke up the following morning the first thing I heard were the birds chirping outside my window. It was still dark out, yet the birds knew it was a new day and they were busy singing their praises! Like the birds, I was flooded with an unusual peace that seemed to shine an entirely new perspective on the previous day's situation. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, <b>and lean not on your own understanding</b>..." kept coming to mind, over and over again. Actually, that verse kept coming to mind, and so did the the scene from one of Jude's favorite movies, Chicken Little, where the young rooster confidently puffs out his chest and says, "It's brand new day!" (<i>clearly I'm the mother of a 4 year old!</i>). A shift from discouragement to hope had happened in the middle of the night that I couldn't explain. God had clearly been at work answering prayers that I didn't even know where being lifted up on my behalf! I genuinely felt the Lord's voice of truth reassuring me to trust not in my emotions but in His ability to work despite what I had to offer. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>As our bus pulled up where we were hosting the conference, I again heard His whisper in my heart, "<i>Don't trust your insecurities right now- I'm at work</i>!"... and so I stepped off the bus and bravely made my way towards the group of pastor's wives that I felt I had totally missed the mark with the day before in my teaching (<i>mostly because of cultural relevance & language barriers</i>). And in classic African style, we were all immediately greeted with quite possibly the warmest and most friendly smiles you've ever seen, which instantly brought an easiness to my soul! And then, as if that wasn't enough, I was strangely approached by nearly every one of the women as they came up to me and thanked me for my teaching the day before! They were intentional in telling me that great conversations were sparked from what I had taught on and they were so grateful! Folks, I'm tellin' ya, it was SO odd, and their appreciation most certainly didn't measure up in the slightest with my far from stellar teaching I had offered!!! It was at this point it was blatantly clear to me that the Holy Spirit's ability to communicate was far greater than I could comprehend! God had clearly been at work filling in where I fell short. He took the culture gap and somehow brought relevance to it, He took the debilitating communication barriers and spoke through them, He answered prayers of those who cried out on my behalf when I was too defeated to do so! And from that day forward, it was smooth sailing with the conference, and the issues that seemed to be gigantic hurdles, were wiped away! <br />
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You see, here's the part that is unbelievably cool to me... While I was surprised by my new found hope and peace when I woke up that morning, and while I stood in awe and was dumbfounded as the women enthusiastically greeted and thanked me for my flop of a teaching, an while I was just so grateful for the obvious positive turn of events... what I didn't know is that God was answering very specific prayers from others! <br />
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Remember my frustration from the night before, where I was only able to type a few sentences to Joshua begging him to pray?! Well, being the amazing husband he is, he prayed on my behalf and asked others to do the same & sent a simple email out to friends and family.<br />
This is what it said....<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">"Update from Hilary:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">The women's portion of the conference is struggling a little. The location is difficult among many other barriers with language, children and knowledge. Hilary is discouraged and the group could really use some prayer as they finish their last two days. Pray what has been taught will be used by the Lord and pray for what will be taught will be understood and applied. Thanks for all of you and your support for Hilary."</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">For those of you that responded and prayed for our team I can't even tell you how grateful I am, because I KNOW that God heard you and He answered! I know for a fact that God heard my dad's prayer... because every line of it was specifically answered! I don't know if God tuned in a little extra because it was a dad calling out on his daughter's behalf... but take note parents, God hears our prayers for our children! Here's my dad's prayer and response to Joshua's email...</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">"Dear Lord:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Hilary needs Your help. Please use her incredible winsomeness and people skills to win over the women in her Uganda sphere of influence. May they see Your work in her and be swayed toward your grace. Please lift barriers and remove hindrances to Your truth being understood, felt and acted on. Please give Hilary a scripture to hang on to and a kind act or remembrance that energizes her spirit through the balance of this trip. May this renewal be contagious to the other women to such a point that it is obvious, You are at work and they praise You for it. Please return her home safe and satisfied that she has done her best and obeyed your direction. Amen ~Blane"</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div style="border-top: solid #b5c4df 1.0pt; border: none; padding: 3.0pt 0in 0in 0in;"></div>Brings me to tears every time I read it. I can so clearly see God answered each and every specific line of my dad's requests!<br />
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The thing is, I think I could have missed it. I might not have seen that God used my flop for His good, had I only trusted my emotions and my own understanding! Proverbs 3:5 " Trust in the Lord with all your heart, <b>and lean not on your own understanding</b>...." You can't always trust your feelings- they're not always reality, and honestly, I think Satan uses them at times to put his spin on situations! God's word is solid and trustworthy, even when our emotions are cRaZY! <br />
<br />
I would have never thought I'd say I was grateful for that emotionally discouraging day while in Uganda-but God revealed more of Himself to me that day. He showed me the importance in the Body of Christ. He showed me that He answers prayers. He showed me that He is far bigger than my emotions and He alone is the solid truth to cling to! For a girl who's dad often told her growing up, "You can't let your feelings lead the way Hilary".... clearly there was a lesson to be learned! <br />
Cling to Him and His truth NOT your emotional circumstances! <br />
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</div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-627005991638531622012-03-22T23:04:00.001-05:002012-03-22T23:15:39.230-05:00Toughest Day in Uganda<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Our second day in Uganda proved to be the hardest for me emotionally. It's tough now for me to even go back there in my mind and relive it. I'm immediately flooded with images, sounds, and smells that will haunt me forever. I knew this day would be hard. I knew it would require me to lean not on my own understanding, but on God's truth and strength. I knew it would shake me up and break my heart, and it certainly did all these things and more! BUT what I <b>didn't </b>know was how this day would reveal ugly parts of my heart and require love that was far bigger than what I had to offer. I <b>didn't</b> know that God was going to reveal Himself to me through a whisper that was almost so quite I missed it. And I most certainty <b>didn't</b> know that my agenda for the day and God's agenda for the day looked so drastically different.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Rewind with me a bit and you'll see that God had been preparing me for this day since February 5th, 2011 when I was first made aware of the plight of the imprisoned children in Uganda. I watched a documentary at an adoption retreat that revealed a disturbing reality of injustice and heartache that gripped me. Images of wrongly confined children living in conditions that were unimaginable left tears streaming down my face (<i>and a large pile of snotty tissues too!</i>). I knew God had opened my eyes to this situation for a reason, I just didn't know how the heck I was suppose to respond?! I returned home from the retreat broken yet determined to do <i>something</i> about the uneasiness in my soul! The injustice of it all made me sick to my stomach and kept me awake at night. My mind quickly began racing with sales pitch ideas of how I could get my church on board with investing in the ministries that were pouring into this remand center. I knew our church had recently made the decision to focus our attention on Uganda and had already taken one mission trip there, so I thought to myself, "<i>There's hope! Maybe if I'm persuasive enough, they'll at least watch the documentary and consider going to this facility</i>!?" Well... silly me didn't consider the fact that God didn't need "Sales Pitch Hilary" at all to accomplish His work! In fact, He had ALREADY been at work and I just didn't know it! You can only imagine my astonishment/relief/excitement when I found out that our church was ALREADY plugged into this facility and unbeknownst to me, had JUST visited it the month before on their first visionary trip in January 2011! How cool is that?! I was beyond thrilled to find out that I wasn't going to have to jump any hurdles to get our Compassion Ministry equally as passionate about investing in these vulnerable children! Isn't it just like God to pave the way!?! In fact, I found out our church would be heading back to Uganda and visiting this remand center that July 2011! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Okay, so with that marked off my list of things to tackle, I decided to focus my attention on sharing with others what had impacted me. I hosted a little viewing of the documentary later that month, (<i>February 17th to be exact</i>) to a group of 15-20 friends and family at my sisters house. Following that, in the month of April, I focused my efforts towards selling cupcakes at Joshua's school as a fundraiser for one of the amazing ministries that serves these imprisoned children. At the end of April, Joshua and I earnestly prayed and made the decision for him to go on the July mission trip with the team. Long story short... He went. He loved it. He came home a changed man. He told me there was <i>no way</i> I could miss the next trip. There you have it. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Flash forward to February 23rd, 2012, our second full day in Uganda, I found myself standing on a dusty red dirt road in front of the rundown, paint chipped building with barred windows that's image had been burned in my mind almost exactly one year prior... SURREAL! As our team slowly walked in and soaked in the scene around us I immediately knew that I was going to have to "check out" in a sense, just to be able to function that day emotionally. There's really no adequate way to describe the immediate feeling of defeat and darkness that comes over you as you enter a place like this. The presence of the guards was very obvious and heavy that day. They seemed to make their power known by just a look in their eye and the stories we heard would confirm that instilling fear and physical abuse as punishment is a tactic they use quite often. There is much I could share about this day, and maybe in time I will, but for now I want to share just one story from the day that forever impacted me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After we finished up an incredibly moving time of worship and bible teaching with the kids (<i>yes, these children worship God despite their undeserving circumstances! They have an unshakable faith that I have much to learn from, that enables them to lift their hands towards heaven and find hope and joy in the midst of unspeakable sorrow!)</i> We headed outside to hang out with the children and play and talk and get to know them in hopes of showing them Christ's love in some way. Although after having worshiped with them, I can confidently say that they <b>know</b> who Jesus is and <b>they</b> showed <b>me</b> His face that day! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I went up to a group of girls that were gathered in a circle chatting. I've always had a special place in my heart for teen girls and it just seemed natural to approach them. I could feel myself start to smile as I neared them. The remand center is mostly made up of boys, so out of the 100+ kids there that day, I would say there were only about 15 girls total. The number of children is constantly changing depending on how many street kids are getting dropped off on any given day. (<i>They've had upwards of 300+ street kids dropped off in one days time when an "important" government official is coming into town and they need to "clean up the street"</i>- <i>sigh!</i>). Anyway, I approached the girls and started chit chatting with them about how pretty I thought they were. They proceeded to ask me my age, to which I reluctantly told them I was thirty one. They started laughing <b>at </b>me and said, "You're 31!!! (<i>Apparently 31 is way OLD from their perspective and it probably was from my perspective too when I was their age, but my idea of what's "old" keeps getting higher and higher each birthday I have!</i>). What they said following made me feel better though, "We can't believe you're 31! We thought you were like 20 something!" To which I replied, "See, I love you girls already! You're so smart!" and instantly the walls were down and connections were established. I vividly remember the thought coming to me while standing there to ask them if they wanted to share their story with me. Joshua and I had read a autobiography, Passport Through Darkness, several months earlier, and the author talked about how the people she ministered to in the Sudan just wanted to share their story with someone who cared. They wanted to know their life mattered. And so I stepped out on a limb and boldly asked the group of girls if anyone wanted to share their story. Immediately one of the older girls who seemed to be the "ring leader" in a sense, we'll call her "G", quickly chimed in and said, "You want to know my story? I will tell you. It's long though." I told her that I had time. She said, "Follow me" and motioned for me to follow her up a set of stairs that lead to a low concrete wall where she sat down and began patting the spot next to her for me to sit. All the other girls had tagged along and were standing there with us, as if waiting their turn to share their story, and "G" politely looked each girl square in the eye and proceeded to point her finger and each one and say, "Privacy, Privacy, Privacy" as she went down the line. Each girl seemed to understand and ran along. I wondered if they don't even share their stories with each other? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And so began the one on one conversation that <b>I</b> thought was God's agenda for the day. I mean it made sense to me? Surely God had me in this exact moment to hear the cries of this precious 17 year old girl, "G"! Surely His plan was for me to let her know I loved her, that she was valued, and that He had not forgotten about her! I'm not ready to share the details of her story here right now, out of fear I may not do her life story justice. But rest assured, this conversation shook me to my core, and broke my heart in two! Here was an articulate, beautiful, vibrant girl... who in her short 17 years had experienced fear, hurt, and abandonment on levels I couldn't even wrap my mind around! As she shared her story she presented herself as strong and determined, yet loosing hope being stuck in this hellish place. Her only request when I asked what I could pray for, was that she would be able to go to school and get an education. Education in Uganda equals hope and most the time, the only way out. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Meanwhile, I was keenly aware throughout our conversation that we were being eyed by one of the guards. Her manipulative glances made it very clear that she wanted "G" to know she was keeping an eye on her. My biggest fear was that I would innocently do something that would get one of the kids in trouble and cause them to "pay" after we left. So as the guard looked away for a minute I whispered to "G", "Is it okay that we're talking, are you going to get in trouble for this later?" With her head held down, she quietly said, "It's fine." Right about that time I saw the guard strolling our way. My heart sunk and I took a deep breath. She approached with an arrogance about her that instantly surfaced feelings of anger inside of me for her. She proceeded to put her hand on "G's" knee and eerily say, "Daughter, daughter, daughter.... So, what are you ladies talking about today?" I immediately felt sick to my stomach and truly felt as though we were in the presence of darkness. In hopes of shielding "G" from being put in a compromising situation, I did my best to steer the conversation away from her. I told the guard that I had loved being in Uganda so far and that it was a beautiful country, to which she laughed and told me, "Ha! Uganda is NOT beautiful, Uganda is HARD!"... from this point on she proceeded to manipulate and take over the conversation, forcing "G" to actually get up and walk away. She began asking me all sorts of questions about America and saying things like, "Hypothetically, if someone like you Hilary, in America wanted to help someone like me here in Uganda by sending my children to school, you could do that, yes?"... I politely tried to inform her that no, I couldn't do that. She just kept pushing the question determined to get a different response from me, informing me of this little thing called "Western Union" and that she does KNOW in fact that I could send her money that way! (<i>Ugh! Just retyping parts of this conversation make me sick to my stomach all over again!</i>) Talk about being in the most uncomfortable situation EVER! I wanted to run. I HATED this lady! I knew that she mistreated the children, I knew that she was mean, and I knew that she was my "enemy". The entire time she was talking all I kept thinking was, "She is getting in the way of God's plan! She is ruining God's purpose here today! Where is "G".... she's why I'm here!". I searched for ways to get out of this conversation, I physically got up and walked away from her... she followed. I frantically gave looks of "Help Me!" to my other team members- but for one reason or another, it wasn't happening, I was stuck! Another thirty minutes or so of this incredibly frustrating conversation went on. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And then it happened. God whispered. Ever so quietly, I heard Him. My emotions of bitterness and hate were screaming inside my head, but somehow the Holy Spirit was able to shout His whisper just loud enough to drowned out "Hilary" for a split second. Much to my disliking I heard this little voice say, "<b>SHE</b> IS MY AGENDA, <b>SHE</b> IS MY PLAN FOR TODAY!" </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">(<i>Here is where the ugliness of my heart was revealed and where God's beautiful agenda took over...</i>)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">"What?! NO WAY!!!! <b>She</b> doesn't deserve your love God! She is horrible! I can't do this! I won't do this!" A defiant anger rose up within me to ignore His whisper and continue listening to the shouts of hate in my head. I can't recall another time in my life where I ever have felt such ugliness toward an individual and an indifference to their life circumstances and their eternity. I'm just being honest, I know it's not pretty. But knowing what I knew about her, I just didn't have it in me to show an ounce of compassion or love for this lady! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And then I heard the whisper again, "YOU INVITED ME HERE TODAY, <b>I</b> CAN DO THIS!"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Almost instantly an unexplainable certainty came over me. A peace in my soul that God was about to take over this conversation. <b>I just needed to get out of the way!</b> I needed to surrender my anger, my agenda, and my hatred and let God's love shine, <b>even when I couldn't muster it up on my own!</b> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">That's the beauty of the power of the Holy Spirit folks! Paul talks about it in Galatians as the "Mystery of the Gospel"- and in that exact moment, it was as if the veil of this mystery was lifted off my eyes and I KNEW, as a believer in Jesus Christ, HE COULD DO THIS through sinful ole' me! (<i>Romans 8, good stuff!</i>)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> I've gotta be honest here in saying the conversation from here gets a bit blurry in my head because quite honestly, the words coming out of my mouth were not my own! Pretty much the gist of it went something like this...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">"Here's the deal <i>guards name, </i>I'm not going to be able to send your kids to school or send you money, and I'm sorry that you'll probably never understand that because it appears that I should obviously be able help you. BUT I can do something better for you!" </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">She quickly became super interested in what I had to say, "What's that?!"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">"I can pray for you! I KNOW as a mother, there is probably nothing you want more than to have your children grow up and know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, and I KNOW you probably desire for them to grow into healthy and happy adults who make a difference in the world! So I will commit to pray that for you. And I'll even go a step further and commit to pray for you HERE in this job. I can only imagine that it's hard and you feel under-appreciated and under-paid, but I KNOW that deep down you must know what an honor it is that you've been intrusted with this position that enables you to make life-changing impacts on these children. I KNOW that surely you want to show these children the love of Christ and have them walk out of this place one day saying, "Yes, I lived at a place that might have been hell on earth, but <i>guards name </i>showed me Jesus, she showed me love, she gave me hope, she believed in me!" I KNOW surely you want that! I KNOW that you recognize the responsibility God has given you to care for these fatherless children, HIS children. And so I can only imagine that you need prayer?! And I can do that, I can commit to that! Can I pray for you right now <i>guards name</i>?!"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">A look of complete bewilderment was on her face as she nodded and quietly said, "Sure". It was the first time she was silent and had nothing more to say since she had approached me 30-40 earlier! I'm just sayin', there is power in the name of Jesus to silence people! (o; </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And then I prayed for her. And I haven't stopped praying for her EVERY DAY since Feb 23rd! I pray God's truth overwhelms her and His love radically transforms her! I pray that she is light in the darkness there and that she never lays a hand on any children there ever again! She could be exactly what turns this place around! I have to hope that God can restore her and use her and that He is able to accomplish far more than I can imagine! </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Just as a cool side note... in the midst of my little "God interrupted conversation" with this guard, a storm was brewing. Dark nasty clouds started swirling overhead and we were about to get nailed. It was a bit eery as I felt like there was an actual spiritual battle of good vs evil going on- but I'm sure it's just coincidental. Regardless, just as I was finishing up and praying for her the wind kicked up pretty strong and sent everyone running to get inside and our team to get back on the bus. As I closed the prayer with "In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen".... it was clear that our conversation was going to be over given the impending downpour. I have to think it might just have been God's way of getting the last word. She wasn't able to say anything as I ran away to get back on our bus, and my prayer is that those words "In the Name of Jesus Christ" have lingered in her heart! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>As for "G"... oh sweet "G", I think of this girl and pray for her every day too! As I got on the bus, all in a tizzy from my crazy encounter, I glanced out the window to my right and there she was trying to get my attention! My heart skipped with joy because God let me say goodbye to her when I thought the opportunity was gone. I was quickly able to tell her that I would not forget her and to hold out hope. I was able to make her a promise that I would follow up with a certain individual who is fighting to get "G" out of there with a sponsorship to school. And I was able to look into her eyes one last time and see a glimmer of hope still left. Pray for her, please!Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-18854148054181028462012-03-20T13:11:00.000-05:002012-03-20T13:11:26.422-05:00I don't know JACK!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3L8AmcO3u235tGMAUHKgi9zPTu3bD6HYj0adBA7cW0nXBgI7A5PBTR8hccYNhRdO7G6FfLX_aMC-0QHd2oCt86Iu6hlzgA9dVyntB5n46G6SHbnieL1O0Jm6pcebttX1Rk7qlKFvSUMc/s640/431994_10151428882485217_659385216_23374878_215674937_n.jpg" width="640" /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well, it turns out I'm a "processor"... I never knew this about myself, but I've discovered this to be true since returning from Uganda almost three weeks ago. I'm overwhelmed right now just trying to figure out where to begin in writing this post! I'm utterly aware of the fact that there is no way in words I'm going to adequately sum up my experience and all that God has opened my eyes and heart to! This same feeling of, "<i>Where the heck do I begin?!</i>" floods my head when someone nonchalantly asks me, "Oh hey, how was your trip?!"... I want to respond, "Well, you gotta an hour, or two?!"... because there is just no quick way to wrap up this life changing experience... and let's face it, the majority of people are asking for the quick version. Oh how it makes me grateful for the few who <i>really </i>want to know the stories, who <i>really</i> want to know the names, who <i>really</i> want to take the time, who <i>really </i>want to know the heartbreak and joy that consumes my thoughts each and every day since returning! To those who have listened, I have cherished those meaningful conversations more than I you know, as they truly are what has helped me process through it all! My gratitude runs deep! Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for <b>all </b>who have asked, even if only to be polite, it's just that my eyes have seen things and my heart has felt things that have rocked me to my core, so I can't possibly sum up all that is churning inside me in a 20 second response. I only wish everyone could go and see and hear and feel and smell what I've been privileged to, then you'd understand. I'm changed. Uganda changed me. So, instead of putting this pressure on myself to cram all my thoughts into one post, I think I'm gonna ease into this and do several posts as I process through it all. For today, here is what is heavy on my heart... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJBdMGm2eY4DtDlQk-026tS4G8tNeIGG08IDTejRQYPLGK_FkM15ZWyHlBbdrufvM-mfFmYmrnErbvkFlFj_Lka4ggZBTW0mfKdmrreL1kH9Ci3ZJq3xVnQobW1J5jTJyo-lTI6wt9sDs/s1600/421018_10151389210075217_659385216_23223060_603975636_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJBdMGm2eY4DtDlQk-026tS4G8tNeIGG08IDTejRQYPLGK_FkM15ZWyHlBbdrufvM-mfFmYmrnErbvkFlFj_Lka4ggZBTW0mfKdmrreL1kH9Ci3ZJq3xVnQobW1J5jTJyo-lTI6wt9sDs/s640/421018_10151389210075217_659385216_23223060_603975636_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I walked away from Uganda realizing that I don't know jack! I don't know jack about the cultural gap that exists between us, especially in regards to marriages, parenting, education, and work! I don't know jack about the hurt that comes with the gut wrenching stories that hide behind the sweet faces we met! I don't know jack about solutions to corrupt government policies! I don't know jack about the despair that comes with constant hunger, wondering where your next meal will come from! I don't know jack about any of this because my life is so far removed from these issues! <i>(And for the record, I don't want my life to be so far removed, I want to close in this gap of understanding!</i>) But the truth is, because of our drastically different lifestyles, I found myself completely stripped of anything and everything I thought <b>I</b> had to offer! <b>I</b> had no solutions, <b>I</b> had no wisdom, and <b>I</b> definitely had no grounds for even pretending to understand the difficulties they face each and every day! This left me feeling pretty inadequate, vulnerable, and overwhelmed. This left <b>me</b> exactly where God wanted me, with NOTHING to offer BUT <b>HIS</b> LOVE AND <b>HIS</b> TRUTH! The best part about God's love and His truth is... it trumps all culture! (<i>thank you Mama Bishop for reminding me of that!</i>) So while I don't know jack about a whole heckava lot... there is true freedom found in the realization that God's love fills in the giant gap of my understanding! Sometimes it's the only solid ground there is to stand on! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1 Corinthians 13:13 "Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is<b> LOVE</b>."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGbHrFheXoUtmvP2b99kBYJdjXdF85bN2KTZolqgrNziCIgGDVrELJbFNKoOlLFiR3tWF9d57uoy4HSpmgx5y-tmESSQgGwhkEj_zpkApDymAcAt7ofydaH8setEL_Ty1iBeAACjz-hDg/s1600/423765_10151389221490217_659385216_23223128_1098946117_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGbHrFheXoUtmvP2b99kBYJdjXdF85bN2KTZolqgrNziCIgGDVrELJbFNKoOlLFiR3tWF9d57uoy4HSpmgx5y-tmESSQgGwhkEj_zpkApDymAcAt7ofydaH8setEL_Ty1iBeAACjz-hDg/s640/423765_10151389221490217_659385216_23223128_1098946117_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-59856311625734517562012-02-10T18:37:00.000-06:002012-02-10T18:37:51.484-06:00Revealing<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">My blogging life stinks right now! I hear this nagging little voice in my head whispering, "Sheesh Hil (<i>this whispering voice also substitutes my name with "slacker"</i>), sure has been a while since you last posted anything! Don't you think it's about time for a deep heart-felt post?! After all, as everyone knows, your blogging consistency and substance measure where you're at spiritually!!!" Ha! Thank goodness that's not true! Regardless this nagging whisper leaves me with a defeated sigh and shrug of the shoulders because while I'd love to spend each week knocking out a post on all the thoughts God is stirring in my heart and the ways at which I see Him at work right now, the truth is, life is busy! Rest assured, God is good, and He's at work... even when the posts are far and few between! </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I've been busy preparing and planning for the sections I'll be teaching the Ugandan women at the conference we're hosting with Hessed International the second week we're in Uganda. So it turns out, no surprise here, "teaching" is NOT one of my spiritual gifts. This has <strike>forced</strike> required me to really immerse myself (<i>more than the average person probably</i>) into the material and scripture I'll be teaching in order to be prepared. Initially this desperate hope to soak in every ounce of knowledge related to "Marriage Building Strategies"(<i>the topic I'm covering</i>) was rooted in the mere fact that I didn't want to look like a complete buffoon in front of this group of women. Fear. It's gripping. But in classic God fashion, He has used my frenzied, fear driven, study habits, to gently reveal more of who He is to me. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">For instance.... He has used this time to remind me that I will NEVER stop learning! It is a foolish thing for me to assume that I know all I need to know on a certain topic... marriage building strategies for instance! As I read (<i>and re-read</i>) and digest all the material I'm covering I continually find myself awakened to new perspectives and to different attributes of Christ that I had yet to discover! So while my initial motive in digging deep into this material was so that I looked all prepared and rock-star teacher-like, God has used this time to nudge me and gently say, "I still have things to teach YOU too Hilary!". So when it comes to communication, conflict, prayer, and romance in the context of marriage... just know, I'm no pro! (o; </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">God has also used this time of preparation to expose more of how He has uniquely created me. It all started with me realizing that I repeatedly kept turning to Joshua in the middle of studying and would rattle off a list of insecure questions..."You're teacher, how the heck do I do this?! How would you present this? Would you use an outline? Should I just do it lecture style like you do? If only they had powerpoint in Africa, you could totally help me make an awesome powerpoint presentation to get this idea across, right?! Huh, huh, huh?!?!". Annoying right?! Thankfully I have a patient husband! Here's the deal, it doesn't flippin' matter how Joshua, my amazing teacher husband, would do it!!! What matters is how God wants ME to do it! So that has left me on my knees, begging for God to reveal how He can best use ME to convey what HE knows these women need to hear. He knows the way I'm wired and He knows the best way I communicate with people- heck He created me! So instead of trying to take on someone else's teaching style, I'm just asking God to use the way He made me to most effectively stir the hearts of the women there. And you know what? He's doing just that, revealing little features about my personality that I am confident in and teaching ideas are coming to mind that line up with that! I absolutely LOVE that we serve a God who uses each of our strengths and weaknesses in different ways! The peace that has come in truly soaking in this realization, is freeing! He keeps reiterating that what's <b>most</b> important is that I'm willing to be used. May I be your hands and feet and voice God! </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Before I wrap this post up, I could for sure use any and all prayers that I would remember to talk <b>sssslooow!</b> I talk fast to begin with and when I'm nervous, I shift into hyper mode- I can just see the blank stares of confusion now! Yes they speak english in Uganda, but our accents are so different, no doubt there is a bit of a language barrier. Seriously, when Joshua came home from Uganda this past time and we were watching all his video footage, we were like 5 minutes into it before I said, "Oh! Wait, are they speaking english!?!"... it's a thick accent folks! So I'm guessing they think ours sounds funny too! All that to say, I need to talk slow and I need prayers! (o; </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Listen to the beautiful voices of Uganda in this video from when Joshua visited Amazima back in July! </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5116585303804523937.post-22257120766956895072012-01-26T12:16:00.000-06:002012-01-26T12:16:49.789-06:00Uganda Prep TimeIn less than 4 weeks I'll be on a plane... Uganda bound! Woot Woot! The excitement is building and the prep work is under way! This past weekend the entire Uganda team was able to get away for 24 hours for a time of planning and team building.<br />
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(<i>Side note: bare with me on this little tangent</i>... ) While some of you might cringe at the thought of "team building" and roll your eyes to cheesy ice breakers, I'll have you know- I LOVE IT and truth be told, deep down I wish every social situation in life required people to be silly and get uncomfortable for the sake of breaking down the ridiculous walls we have up in our lives! You see, this passion I have for team building is in my blood, it's inevitable when you work at a camp for 5 years! I mean, think about it, day in and day out, I was surrounded with people playing goofy games that had awesome names like "Giants, Dwarfs, and Wizards" and "Mosquito Tag", and "The Borg", along with "Rapid Fire"(<i>my favorite, I might add!</i>), and "Lilly Pad Landing" and the ever so popular "Chubby Bunny"! Oh and don't even get me started about the fun we can have with trust falls, and blind hikes, and the spider web! Makes me smile just thinkin' about it! (<i>Oh how my inner-dork is shining through right now!</i>)<br />
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Okay, I'm back! Thanks for sticking with me, back to this weekend! As you might have guessed, my heart was happy because Friday evening consisted of "get to know you" games, and a team building exercise!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We went around the table taking turns reading random and funny facts about one another that each of us had turned in prior to the retreat. We had to guess who said what. I'm always amazed at the things I learn about people and I'm even more amazed at how quirky people are! From one person's favorite childhood food being the school's cafeteria salisbury steak to another person who has a deathly fear of velvet/velour?! Gotta love it!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Team building exercise: We were each given a role to play, and our objective was to get from one house to the other where our "safe zone" was in under 20 minutes. My "role" was that I had no legs, obviously unable to walk, but I couldn't mention that I had no legs to anyone. If any of us mentioned what our role/aliment was, then we had to start all over. The group consisted of someone who was blind, someone with with no arms, someone who had paralyzing panic attacks, someone who was deaf, a nay-sayer, someone who fainted every time the nay-sayer disagreed with the group, an 85 year old who was only able to say "huh, I didn't hear you", and a headstrong leader who told others what to do and thinks they're always right. Well... you can only imagine how difficult communication was given our aliments! Hence me getting dropped by Carrie here because she had to faint while carrying me because Nancy, the nay-sayer, disagreed with our plan of action! </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So here I'm rethinking how in the world I'm going to get someone to carry me all the way over to the other house! Notice Nancy, the nay-sayer yelling, "No! This is not a good idea!" She played the role well! As we started to figure out everyone's roles based on their behavior, we were able to communicate a little better- but it wasn't very pretty, that's for sure! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the oh so eloquent "hand off" of legless Hilary... to the blind man, mind you! Yes folks, that's right- after much deliberation it was determined that the only one strong enough that was able to carry me was the BLIND guy! He had to have his eyes closed the entire time and carry me outside, in the dark, along an uneven stone walkway! Talk about nerve racking! Shawn (blind guy), you most definitely got your work out for the night! Sorry I ate so much for dinner, that had to have added a pound or two! (o; </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I made sure the others kept Shawn (blind guy) on the path! But quite honestly, I'm not sure the others were of much help considering (Brett, to my right) had no arms and couldn't catch me if I fell, (Bekah to my left) was getting more scared with every step leading to a full blown panic attack, (Nancy, behind me) disagreeing with every word spoken, and (Jeff, behind me) was just busy bossing us all around. I'm glad to announce that we did in fact make it to our "safe zone" all alive and uninjured! And I'm pretty sure we're all closer for it! </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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Saturday consisted of quality time digging into the material we'll be teaching while in Uganda for the conference that we're hosting for Hessed International's Ugandan pastors and their wives. The ladies from our team will be teaching on marriage (<i>my section is on Successful Marriage-Building Strategies- Joshua particularly likes the chapter I teach on "Keeping Your Romance Alive"... such a guy!</i>) and we're also teaching on Health and Hygiene (<i>lot's of talk about germs and how they're spread</i> <i>& ways to conserve water</i>). We were able to run through teaching our topic and get feedback from the group, which resulted in the unanimous decision that I talk too fast and need to slow down! (<i>No surprise there!</i>) But it was good to get a feel for how we want to present our lessons and hash through any questions we might have. <br />
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My favorite part about Saturday though was when we all shared our life stories with the group. Each of us went around the circle and vulnerably and honestly shared about how God had transformed our lives! There is something incredibly powerful about the testimony of 9 people, all from different walks of life, sharing the common thread of God rescuing us from our sinful self and witnessing the beauty that comes from His redeeming love! I am so honored to be going to Africa with this incredible group of imperfect people, who are desperately seeking God's story for their life! There is no doubt that God has woven this team together for His purposes, all with our different strengths and weaknesses to accomplish His work while we're in Uganda! <br />
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I'm so stinking grateful for our team leaders who put their precious time and effort into making this weekend happen. Thank you for realizing the importance in getting away, even just for 24 hours, to establish team unity! Thank you to the rest of the team for showing up with open hearts and sharing the same passion for loving God and loving others! This trip... it's gonna be good! <br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/180/357E0ACCFC5F81EED373FD9A101D1155.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Joshua and Hilaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895760938766622609noreply@blogger.com4